He hates this story but it's true so I'm tellin' it.

On our wedding day, I made the mistake of Getting My Makeup Done. Getting makeup officially done isn't the mistake. It was having my hairdresser do it without a rehearsal run.

I really wasn't a big makeupperwearer to begin with. Certainly not of full face foundation and all that. So why again was I picking what was arguably the most important day of my life to mess around with my face?

Sigh. I will tell you exactly why I did it. It was because I was a bride and as I've said before, even the most independent minded brides often do things simply because they're supposed to do them.

It's something to think about when you're planning your wedding. Make sure you know the line between fancy and risky. Not to sound all encouraging Auntie about this, but just be yourself. Or at least an extra fabulous version of yourself.

So who's the "he" at the beginning of this story? And why is he trying to squelch this story? It's not my hairdresser, though he should be embarrassed. Many of my photos came out great. Some of them are total kabuki face.

But the guy I'm referencing is my husband. He hates when I remind him of the first thing he said to me when I joined him at the aisle.

Which was "What happened to your face?"

True story.

Clown's honor.

I am, how you say, full of lies.

I said in my last post that I would get back to the relationship stuff in THIS post. But see, the shoe post was too much fun. I liked zooming in and dissecting one pretty little detail of a wedding day. Your wedding day, seen through a frilly fashionscope.

So let's keep this shallow train going. It's getting colder and darker these days anyway. We could use a little frothy distraction. I can talk about boys and angst later.

Having already covered the shoe thing, let's shoot north and start our journey from the head down. From the hair down, I should say. Wedding hair is a big ol' decision. (And if you're from NJ or TX, sometimes it's just big ol' hair, period. Rimshot!)

After "How did he pop the question?" and "What's the date?" one of the most commonly asked wedding-related questions is "How are you going to wear your hair?"

Not that anyone's asking me, but I wore my hair down. I didn't want to feel fussy or un-me on my wedding day so I resisted the Updo Pressure. And honey - there was lots of it. No less than 3 friends, 2 family members and 1.5 hairdressers urged me to put it up. (The .5 hairdresser was a nosy stylist one chair over. One who needed to mind his own business but piped up his little opinion anyway.)

If you're like most women, you are feeling that same pressure. And maybe you're cool with it. Maybe you want to wear it up and I support that. Rock whatever chignon you want. Go nuts. Wait - don't go nuts. That's the last thing you want to tell your stylist to do.

I think most hairdressers take one's wedding day as license to tie, thread, weave or staple white things to one's head. The photos in this post aren't nearly the worst I found online. (They were just the free-est.) Oh if only I could show you some of the photos I found. Damn you copyright restrictions!

So close your eyes and try to visualize the horrors I witnessed:

~ Partially crimped hair. Crimping your hair isn't bad enough, you have to look like you were drunk when you did it?

~ Chunks of ivory fabric interwoven around the bride's face. Girfriend looked like an old, ripped couch cushion.

~ Two words. Glued pearls.

~ One white feather is cute and dainty. Fourteen of them are not. They're offensive.

~ Pigtails or "sprouts" of any kind.

And finally...

~"Hair stenciling allows you to create and apply temporary designs, hair paints and glitter to your hair."

Anyway, if you're looking for a good realistic article about wedding hair, this one from Cosmopolitan is pretty straightforward.