It's hard to believe that one of your dearest friends would say "no" to the honor of being a bridesmaid in your wedding, but I'm here to tell you it's happening more and more. Even at the risk of damaging a longtime friendship, many women are unwilling to accept the financial obligation that goes along with what is becoming a dubious "honor." Let's see--there's the dress, the shoes, the hair, the make-up, the nails, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, a wedding gift. If it's a destination wedding, there's airfare, accommodations, food. Bridesmaids are often out $1000 to $2000 or more, and all they get in return is a chartreuse dress they'll never wear again. It's easy to understand why, after one or two stints as a bridesmaid, some women will opt out of the bridesmaid business.

If you want your friends to say "yes" to the chartreuse dress, I have a few suggestions that will help get them to gladly participate in your wedding. Make sure they know, up front, how you plan to work with them:

1. Choose wisely. Ask only the friends you really want standing next to you--longtime, close friends who would be devastated if you didn't ask them--especially if it's a destination wedding, where the expenses will rise dramatically.

2. Keep the bridesmaids' dresses under $200. If at all possible (and it always is,) select a design that's stylish and appropriate for other occasions.

3. Don't require particular shoes. You can request white shoes or black shoes, but let them wear what's in their closet rather than having to purchase a special pair.

4. Let your bridesmaids wear their own jewelry, or give them special jewelry as a bridesmaids gift.

5. Let your bridesmaids do their own hair, make-up and nails, or pick up the tab for the salon.

6. Insist on a low-key bachelorette party. Have a dinner where everyone (but the bride, of course,) pays for themselves. Go dutch (except for the bride) for a night on the town. Put a fun veil on a baseball cap or funky headband for the bride to wear. It's an easy way to score free drinks at some bars.

7. Don't take it personally if a friend declines the honor of being one of your bridesmaids. A happy occasion ceases to be happy if it plunges someone you love into debt.

8. Give them exceptional bridesmaids' gifts! Remember suggestion #4? If you want them to wear wonderful, matching jewelry, choose something beautiful as a gift from you. They'd love this elegant pearl necklace with crystal accents and matching earrings from MyWeddingFavors.com, where you can also find a wonderful selection of more casual, everyday jewelry for your bridesmaids. Since they'll be doing their own make-up, I'm sure they'd love to have something just made for moving mascara, eyeliner and all the rest from place to place, which makes this monogrammed, hanging cosmetic case a perfect and personal bridesmaids gift.

Use these tips to make your best girlfriends an offer they won't refuse!

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