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Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

When it comes time to send out your wedding invitations, you’re bound to have some questions. Because today’s society isn’t as formal as it once was, it’s hard to know just how to send out formal invitations. The last thing you want to do is offend someone. Here are some etiquette questions and answers that may be helpful to you.

First, you should know that formal invitations are comprised of one outer envelope which you write the full names and address of the people invited and an inner envelope which you do not seal, but will write the names only of the people invited.

How should you address an envelope to a single person and let them know it’s ok to bring a guest?

On the outside envelope, use just the invited guest’s name (Mr. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write Mr. John Brown and Guest.

How do you address an envelope to a family when kids are invited?

You address the outer envelope to the couple (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write the full names of the parents and the children’s first names (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown, Maggie, Elise, Tom). This will let the parents know their children are invited as well.

If a couple is living together but not married, how do you invite them both?

You would write both their names on the outer and inner envelopes. For instance, it would be correct to write “Mr. Todd Smith and Miss Katie Jones.”

If a doctor and his wife are on the guest list, how do you address the inner envelope?

Use the full name and address on the outer envelope (Dr. and Mrs. Clay Hartwell) and on the inner envelope write the title and last name (Dr. and Mrs. Hartwell).

If your guest is in the military, how do you address a wedding invitation to him and his wife?

It’s correct to address the outer envelope with the military branch and rank. For instance, Captain and Mrs. George Wendell, U.S.Army, is correct on the outer envelope. Inside you would write Captain and Mrs. Wendell.

If a woman is divorced, how do you address her invitation?

Be certain whether she has kept her married name or gone back to her maiden name. Either way you would write Ms. Mary Black. The Ms. fits in either situation. The inside would read Ms. Black.

How do you address an envelope to a married couple with different last names?

It is correct to write both names out fully. For instance, the outer envelope would read Mr. Bob Holden. On the next line under it, write Mrs. Monica White. On the inside, you’d write Mr. Holden and Mrs. White.

How do you include wording about dress code?

If you’re going to have a formal wedding, you can write “Black Tie Optional” or “Black Tie Suggested.” This will let the men know to wear a tuxedo or dark dress suit and the women will know it’s more dressy as well. Leave out any words that say how a guest must dress. It may seem too pushy. But definitely include how you’d like everyone to be dressed. It’s ok to say “Casual Attire Invited” if you are having a beach wedding or “Smart Casual” if it’s not ok to wear shorts.

Is it ok to print labels on your computer for the addresses?

Good etiquette suggests that it’s better to hand write your addresses on the envelopes. Plan for it to take a bit more time than you imagine. That’s the beauty of a formal invitation. It is not a quick copy or print from a machine. It’s your hand-written welcome. So invest a little extra time. Buy a good set of black felt tip pens and sit down and hand write your addresses. It’s rude to slap on computer generated labels. It sends a message that you didn’t care enough to hand address.

For more invitation advice, try some of the following articles:

Should You Send Save the Date Cards?

Do It Yourself Wedding Programs for the Ceremony

What to Do When You Have Missing or Late RSVPs

These days the average wedding can cost over $30,000! That’s enough for a down payment on a house! Just because a bride and groom are throwing a lavish wedding, though, does that mean your gift has to be ultra expensive as well?

Your wedding gift basket to a couple should not be based on how fancy their wedding is. Why would you give your sister who married in a country backyard affair any less than your best friend who married at the Ritz? Instead of deciding how much to give based on the style of the wedding, you should give your gift based on how close you are to the bride and groom. Gift more for a family member, less for a co-worker. You get the idea.

But still, how much is not enough? And how much is over the top? That depends on your individual budget. Are you employed and successful? Are you a grad student? These factors will have to be considered when gifting.

If you’re uncertain, go by this rule of thumb: $100 is the base point to start with. Going under is fine as long as you are comfortable with it. And of course, you can go over if you have the means.

For example, imagine you are very close to the bride and groom, but you’re also a grad student. You can offer a wedding gift that looks more expensive than it was. Check out their registry and see the kinds of things they like. Then choose a gift similar to it from a discount venue like QVC, HSN or Overstock.com. Many times you can get the identical or almost the same item for half the price. Wrap it up and ship it to the bride’s home. Don’t show up at the reception with large packages that the bride and groom will have to carry home. Mail them ahead with a nice card.

You can also opt to pool your cash for a nicer gift. If you’re college buddies with the groom, get a bunch of your other friends who are also invited to chip in for a bigger gift. Choose off the registry. Items like that cappuccino maker that would have been over your budget will be doable when you all go in on it. When you’re all agreed on what to get, you can send money to one person who will be the designated shopper.

You can do this via check in the mail or even via sites like PayPal that allow you to transfer money to anyone online. The gift can then be shipped directly to the groom or bride and no one has to lug anything. Just be sure to track it so you know it arrived safely. And don’t ship large items to city apartments where no one will be home all day. If that’s the case, ship to the bride’s mom and dad for safety.

There are lots of options when you’re low on cash, especially if you’re asked to attend several weddings over a short period of time. Get creative, and you’ll never have to worry about exact dollar amounts. Just be sure that if you have to turn down an invite that you still send a wedding gift. Just because you’re not going doesn’t mean you’re excused from giving a gift. Just give what you can comfortably afford.

For some budget friendly wedding gift ideas, try this article on How to Make a Wedding and Honeymoon Gift Basket.

If you want to host a luncheon for your bridesmaid gifts, you’ll need some ideas to make it fun and lighthearted. After all, these are your best pals and some of them have had to travel and go to great expense to get to buy the dress, stay at a hotel, and purchase your gift. This is your chance to repay them with a fun thank you luncheon.

Hold your luncheon as close to the date of the wedding as you like. If all bridesmaids are local and there’s no traveling involved, have it a few weeks before the wedding. If a few of the bridesmaids have to travel, you should have it no more than one day before the wedding. The afternoon before the wedding is a great time to host a bridesmaid’s lunch because everyone will already be there and they will have nothing to fill their time before the rehearsal dinner.

Keep the theme of your bridesmaid luncheon focused on pampering your bridesmaids. You can have it at a spa which includes lunch with its manicures, massages or pedicures. Just be mindful that some of your bridal party may have already gotten their nails done at home for the wedding, so offer a facial, massage, or make up application as options.

Another place you might host your luncheon is at a mall. Find a restaurant that won’t be overly crowded at the time you want to have your lunch. The anchor chain restaurants often have enough room to accommodate your whole party in a private area. Ask and book well in advance. You don’t want everyone standing in line the day of the party.

Have fun with your luncheon. Include shopping around the mall for last minute items the girls may need or just for window shopping relaxation. The girls will love it. Some brides like to include their mom as well as the mother of the groom in the bridal party luncheon. It just makes it more cozy and inclusive, especially if the groomsmen and dads are off playing golf or having their own afternoon party, the moms will have somewhere to go.

Try not to plan anything too strenuous as the guests have to be perky for the night’s rehearsal dinner.  Also, try not to force everyone onto the beach or out into the sun for the luncheon. They may get sunburned and then not only be in pain, but they won’t be happy with their lobster red appearance in the wedding photos.

Some other ideas include having the party at someone’s home. It can be at your mom’s or your own home if you have the room. You can do spa facials or just hang out and read magazines or watch funny movies. It’s girl time and you should serve yummy treats. If it’s the day before your wedding, don’t stress yourself by trying to make all the food. Hire a caterer to bring food in or visit a warehouse store that specializes in party platters and cakes. You can buy everything you need the morning of the party or the day before.

Have little gifts on hand to thank your bridesmaids. You can provide bridesmaid gifts or treat bags that have bottled water and little snacks for the hotel room, or you can give them earrings that they can wear at the wedding or a nice bracelet.

For more bridesmaid gift ideas, try:

• Monogrammed Bridal Party Gifts
• Personalized Bridesmaids Gift Ideas
• Bridesmaid Gifts on a Budget

If you’re like most newly engaged women, your mind is off in dreamland planning the perfect wedding day. You’re thinking about what your dress will look like, where you’ll have the reception, and what’s going to be on the menu. Soon, you’ll start wondering who you should ask to be in your bridal party—and when should you ask them?

These are important details to attend to. As soon as you become engaged you’re going to want to get things started right away. Even with all the excitement, you want to take the time to plan each detail carefully.

Before you name your bridal party and tell all your friends and family, you’ll want to sit down with your fiancé and have a discussion. Who is he thinking of asking to be groomsmen? Does he have sisters that he assumes will be part of the bridal party as well? Is there a special person in the family who simply has to be included in the bridal party? If he has children from a previous marriage, do you want them to be at the altar with you? Often today one or both of the couple bring children into the new union. You’ll definitely want to consider whether they’re the right age to serve as attendants or if they even want to.

After you’ve talked and gotten your groom’s take, you can start to plan out the bridal party from your perspective. First make a list of all the women in your life who are especially important to you. Include cousins, friends, sisters, the groom’s sisters, etc. Now comes the hard part—the narrowing down.

Chances are, in a situation that involves choosing only a few people, you are bound to hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally. Be prepared for how and when you will deliver the news of who’s made the cut. This is one good reason for not rushing out and announcing who’s in the bridal party too early.

So how early is early? And how late is too late? There is no rule set in stone, but you should give yourself enough time to really consider the bridal party from every aspect. Even if you’ve dreamed about your wedding since you were ten years old and know exactly who you want to ask, you now have a groom’s side to consider as well. And remember, you can’t go switching your choices after you’ve asked people.

So follow these suggestions:

• Plan to ask each person you want in your party at least eight months before the wedding. This will give them time to prepare for travel, costs that arise, etc. If you don’t have eight months to plan the entire wedding, ask them as soon as you possibly can.
• Ask each person privately if they would like to be in your bridal party. Notify them of the approximate cost (wedding attire, travel, etc.) of what they’d be responsible for. Take no for an answer if it seems they can’t or don’t want to do it.
• Don’t be upset if someone can’t be in your party. Many couples are facing job loss or have small children and are not in a position to lay out cash for wedding expenses that are required of the head party. If your feelings are hurt, try to understand it from your friend’s perspective.
• After each person has been chosen and given a definite yes, announce your bridal party through the grapevine. In other words, don’t go onto Facebook and announce it to the world. Let your mom, sisters, and friends tell people when they ask or mention it in casual company. It’s in poor taste to hand out a list of who’s in the party. It may offend people who are not asked.
• Prepare in advance for how much help you’ll be asking of your party. If you want little help, tell them. If you envision your girls being at your side every step of the way, let them know what you’re planning throughout the process and be prepared to have some special bridesmaid gifts ready in your appreciation.
• Above all, let the people you haven’t asked know you care deeply about them but were limited. Invite them to participate in another way.

For more bridal party advice, try:

• Who Should Pick the Bridesmaid Dresses?
• Booking Bride/Bridesmaid Spa Weekend Packages
• Bridesmaid Luncheon Ideas
• Spa Day Bridal Shower

Each member of the bridal party has his or her own specific duties. If you’re the bride, you’ll want to let each person know what you’ll need them to do. If you’re in the bridal party, you’ll want to find out what might be expected of you so there are no embarrassing omissions. Traditions have dictated over the years what each role means, but today’s brides and grooms are customizing everything, so be sure to check where you’re needed.

Maid of Honor

This lady is the first mate to the captain, the bride. She’s in charge of making sure the bride has everything she needs to get ready on the morning of the wedding including her makeup and hair products, her dress and accessories. She’s also traditionally the one to throw the bridal shower and offer up the bachelorette party supplies. There are expenses that you’ll incur as the chief bridesmaid. If you can’t afford to pay for the parties as well as your dress and shoes, think about either declining to be the Maid of Honor or asking someone to share expenses for the parties with you. Often, the other bridesmaids will step in.

Best Man

The Best Man typically throws the bachelor party. On the big day, he is in charge of getting the groom to the church on time. He’s the one who drives the groom to the ceremony. He will usher family members to their seats and walk the Maid of Honor down the aisle and escort her out after the ceremony. He’s also in charge of holding the wedding rings until they are presented during the ceremony. Often, he will sign as a witness on the marriage certificate. He’s also on the front lines scouting for any problems that may creep up the day of the wedding. He may be asked to hand out checks to vendors who have to be paid such as the restaurant, pianist, etc.

Groomsmen

The groomsmen are there to stand up for the groom and offer him moral support. They help usher family and friends to their seats at the ceremony. They are also the escort for a bridesmaid and are partnered with her for the first dance at the reception. There is some expense involved in being a groomsman. You’ll need to rent a tuxedo and shoes. You’ll also need to travel to the site and be part of the rehearsal the night before. If you can't afford the hotel or clothing expenses, think about declining the offer.

Bridesmaids

After the Maid of Honor, you’re the ones who’ve got the bride’s back. Is she missing anything? Does she need anything to eat or drink? Does she want help with her veil? You’re also there to walk down the aisle in a procession before her. You’ll need to pay for a dress and shoes plus any jewelry the bride would like you to wear. It’s suggested you help pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party as well. At the wedding, you dance with the groomsman you’ve been paired up with and mingle so the bride sees everyone mixing and having a good time.

Flower Girl

Often a niece of the bride or groom, this little girl dresses in a mini version of the bride’s gown and is the first to walk down the aisle. She throws rose petals from a decorated basket and stands with the bridesmaids. If she is very young, she may go back to her seat with her parents. Her role after that is just to be adorable.

Ring Bearer

This is the little guy who brings the rings down the aisle, typically with or behind the flower girl. He carries them on a pillow with strings attached to hold the rings. Often he’s given plastic rings and the Best Man holds onto the actual rings. Once he makes his entrance, he usually sits down with his parents. Then, he gets to show off his dance moves at the reception.

Don't forget the bridal party gifts. Find some fun ideas on Wedding Party Gifts.

Of all the things you’ll be doing to prepare for your wedding, the seating chart ranks right up there with a trip to the dentist. No one looks forward to planning a layout that not only matches like-minded people together but also does not offend anyone at the same time.

Where to start? Well, the good news is that technology can be your best friend here. Use your home computer and Excel to create a seating chart. Or, go online and design a seating arrangement easily with sites like Simple Seating (www.simpleseating.com). There is a free version of the program or you can upgrade and pay for services like importing your guest list to it. On this site you can drop and drag seats to arrange and rearrange table assignments to your heart’s desire. When you’re done, print it out and you’re done. There are lots of features to check out that will make your life easier.

But whether you’re doing your chart online or the old fashioned pen and paper way, you still have lots to think about. Take a deep breath and realize that you can always make changes. Just get your basic layout in place and the rest will all come together.

Do you have to seat boy, girl, boy, girl? Not anymore. In today’s blended and step-families, there are so many things to consider that the every-other seating has all but disappeared. Seat people in order that makes sense. If you have four siblings that are girls, seat them all together around the table. If you have friends from college who happen to both be male, seat them together. It’s perfectly fine, simply use your wedding placecards to lead the way.

Do you have to sit at a head table with all of your bridal party? Not at all! You can create a table for two at the head of the room and seat the rest of the bridal party with their spouses or friends. It makes more sense for everyone, especially if you have moms who want to sit with their children or spouse.

Do both pairs of parents have to sit together at one table? No. You can have your parents sit with relatives from your side and at another table your groom’s parents can do the same.

One rule you should stick to is placing the most “important” relatives nearest the bride and groom. This would include your Aunt Connie who would be offended if you put her anywhere else than at Table 1 as well as step-fathers, biological fathers, step moms and your own mom. While the step-family has created challenges, use your head. If your mom and dad are divorced and remarried, they may feel uncomfortable being placed at the same table. Ask them. If they would prefer to sit apart, make sure they do.

As for friends, you can seat them just about anywhere. If you have a fun friend who you know will liven up a quiet group, place him at that table. If you have friends who you know would rather all be together, seat them that way. Give younger people the tables that elders might complain about. If you have one that’s in a highly trafficked area or near the kitchen, give it to the younger crowd. They are less apt to care.

Use your best judgment and just get the basics down. As your wedding approaches you’ll care less and less about where people are seated and more about your exciting big day!

Get more help on seating charts:

• How to Set Up the Reception Seating
• What to Do When You Have Missing or Late RSVPs

About eight weeks ago, we received an invitation from a couple to attend their wedding reception only. This couple was planning to have a private wedding in Mexico followed by a formal and much bigger reception at home {for everyone else} a few weeks after the wedding date.  In other words, a destination wedding with an at-home reception. Fun!

Well, I’d love to tell you how much fun we had at their reception~ the food, the dancing, the socializing… but this post is about wording a reception invitation. So I’ll get to it! Reception only invitations are pretty much the same as typical wedding invitations – only they don’t include ceremony information. The important components still being: who’s hosting, date, time and location while design and wording will indicate style and formality.

Since their reception was only a few weeks after their ceremony, our couple chose to send invitations     approximately eight weeks before they were actually married. If you prefer a shorter length of time between announcing your marriage and sending out your invitations, mail your invites on the day of or soon after your wedding. Just plan accordingly for your reception date.

Sample Wording for an At-Home Reception

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

have the honor of announcing
the marriage of their daughter
Heather B. Smith
to
Jack L. Johnson

on July 23, 2012
The couple were united in marriage
in a private ceremony in
Los Cabos, Mexico

Please join us for a reception
celebrating their marriage
on August 23, 2012
Time
Location
Address

Remember to include RSVP Cards and any additional details helpful to your guests (i.e. parking info, maps, hotel accommodations, etc.)

All the Best,

Passport to Love

Image: Half-fold wedding invitation from MagnetStreetWeddings

You may have been invited to several dozen weddings in your life, or this may be your first. Both veteran wedding guests and newbies alike should follow some simple wedding attire etiquette rules so that they appear well-dressed and understated. How formal the occasion is will drive your choice of outfit. But just because you’re invited to a backyard summer wedding doesn’t mean you can show up in cutoffs and a halter top. There are still rules to consider.

First, if you are close to the bride or groom, ask them how fancy the wedding is. Will it be held in a church with a full catered reception? Or can you expect to eat barbecue off paper plates? Then, start choosing your attire from there. If it’s casual, you still have to dress up. You want every eye to be on the bride, not your short shorts. So think elegant daytime. Casual wedding attire would be a lovely knee length dress. If you are going sleeveless, plan to wear a cardigan or jacket over your dress, especially if part of the ceremony is in a church. No bra straps should ever show from any outfit you wear.

Tight clothing of any kind is out. Choose the next size up if a dress doesn’t fit in your standard size and don’t feel badly about it. Often, dressmakers use different measurements for the same size. So one designer’s 12 may be another designer’s 10. Just buy what fits and forget about the size on the tag. Ultra-spiky heels are best left for a night out with the girls. Yes, you want to look dressed up, but heels that you can barely walk across the dance floor in should be left at home in the closet.

Choose a shoe that looks good but is of a moderate height heel. Stacked or wedge heels are nice because you can actually walk and dance in them without breaking your neck. And you still have a heel to elongate your look. Don’t wear anything flashy or sequined especially for a day wedding. You will look and feel out of place. It might look great at home while you’re trying it on, but once you hit daylight and your dress is blinding people with the glare, you’ll be very embarrassed.

Go with a subtle sheath dress in a neutral color instead. You can always dress it up with some personalized jewelry. A necklace and bracelet set, even if it’s costume jewelry, can really turn a plain dress into something special. And because you chose a basic color, you can wear it again and again without it looking like the same dress. Add gloves or hair jewelry and you’ll look like you went out and bought an entirely new outfit the next time.

Other things to avoid are white dresses as they compete with the bride. Anything ultra sheer should have a slip under it. Try it out in the bright sunlight. Ask a friend to let you know if it’s still too sheer before you make your way out the door to the wedding. If it’s too sheer, change. The bride’s Uncle Murray and Aunt Rita do not need to know what color underwear you have on.

Read more on this topic at the Knot, Marie Claire, or Glamour.

More on being a good wedding guest:

How to Make a Wedding and Honeymoon Gift Basket

Tips - Wedding Gift Baskets

Congratulations Card Message Ideas

So you've gotten engaged and you're starting to plan. There's so much to do (find a church, find the reception spot, find your dress, bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, pick out flowers, cakes, jewelry, gifts for your bridal party, food, wedding favors, *breathe* and more.) So where on earth do you even start? There are hundreds of websites out there that try to help, and even more websites out there that are out to sell, sell, sell. So which ones are worth it?

Well we've done the research for you to help the wedding planning go a little bit easier. To really make it work for you, the bride, we've also segmented the sites into two different categories; free and paid. It's your choice whether you have it in your budget to pay for a site to stay organized, or maybe you're just looking for ideas and you'd rather have a site that's free. Either way is perfectly fine!

Free Wedding Planning Websites

TheKnot.com - Yes, you probably saw this one coming on the list but it's typically a bride favorite. It gives you your own wedding page, allows you to shop thousands of wedding gowns, features to-do lists, guest lists, budget tools, local wedding resources and lots more.

OneWed.com - A lesser known site with just as many options. OneWed offers bridal gown searches, cake designs, hair ideas, a personal checklist for the big day, a wedding website, and lots of advice from other OneWed members as well.

Brides.com - It requires a few steps to sign up, but when you do, you have access to bridal gowns, real wedding ideas, a budget planner, honeymoon help, to-do checklist, and of course, your own wedding website (seeing a trend here?) They also feature bridesmaid and mother-of-the-bride dresses as well.

OneStopWeddingPlanner.com - This site is amazing, they have everything you could ever need starting with food, music, floorplan, transportation, budget, wedding party, photographer, registries, guestlist, flowers, agenda, calendar and lots more. You may have to host your wedding site somewhere else, but it may just be worth it if these options help!

OurWeddingDay.com - Okay, so you want to get on the wagon for the online RSVP's. Not a problem, this site has that going on. They also feature a task-list manager, a contact list, budget-planner, save-the-dates, and more. This one doesn't have too many bells and whistles, but it is most certainly helpful.

PerfectWeddingGuide.com - Supporting you locally, this site helps you find DJ's, flowers, dresses, cakes, favors, invites, rings, and lots more. Plus it features a guest list, a budget tracker, and a custom to-do list for you to keep up with what's left to be done on your timeline.

MarthaStewartWeddings.com - This one is another great site that has more wedding planning tools than you might know what to do with. She even offers a seating chart section (how great is that?) Plus, she gives you etiquette tips for the big day. Other helpful tools include a budget tool, checklist tool, guests tool, vendor tool and vendor search as well!

Paid Wedding Planning Websites

eWedding.com - This site allows you to create a very customized wedding website for free (and your own domain name on a paid plan) There are additional features when you upgrade, plus you can place a poll, events list and RSVP right there on the website to keep everyone up-to-date on what's happening next. Not to mention your own mailing list to use for communicating with your bridal party.

WeddingWindow.com - This might be the best wedding planning site out there. Your options are almost limitless starting with a budget tracker, invitation workshop, thank-you note workshop, a checklist, reminders, personal journal, calendar, vendor list, email blasts, invitation tracker, event manager, save-the-date cards, guest list manager and more.

WeddingTracker.com - Equally impressive, this site has it all. Your own wedding website with personal domain, online RSVP, maps, news & update alerts for your guests, attendants, registry, photo section, guest book, accommodations, and more.

Get Planning!

Hopefully this helps you along with planning your wedding! With so much to do on a limited timeline and budget, it's great to be organized and prepared for the busy months ahead! Do you have a wedding planning site not seen here, but you think it's great? Let us know! It might just help out another bride!

For more bridal essentials, try some of the helpful articles:

• Planning A Wedding - Tips and Timelines
• Planning a Destination Wedding
• Should You Send Save the Date Cards?
• Announcing your Engagement
• Choosing a DJ versus a Live Band
• How to Register for Wedding Gifts
• Wedding Budget

You may be wondering what the rules are for the hosting of a bridal shower. The answer is, there are no rules anymore. Anyone can host a shower these days, but here are some guidelines to think about.

Best Friends

If you are the bride’s best friend and/or maid of honor, you might feel like you should offer to throw her bridal shower. If this is within your means, it is certainly one of the expected jobs of the head bridesmaid. First, though, you’ll want to check with both the mother of the groom and the mother of the bride to see what they had in mind. Although tradition dictates it’s the maid of honor’s call and she should host (and pay for) the shower, moms may assume they are naturally involved in the planning and cost-sharing. However, with so many nontraditional families these days and family members living farther away from each other, there are no hard and fast rules. Just be sure to check what the others are doing before you plan anything. If you get the green light, have a ball! If your means will only allow you to have a small number of close friends, offer to throw a friends night out shower at a local restaurant. Alternately you can ask the other members of the bridal party to chip in on unique bridal shower favors or food so you can include everyone that you’d like to. And if you’re financially unable to shoulder the cost of the party, be honest with others. They may offer to step in and cover the whole cost.

Mother of the Bride

Traditionally the mother of the bride does not offer to throw a shower. The idea being that it would look as though she were asking for gifts for her daughter, and that would be in poor taste. But often, she will be the only one available, or her home is the only place available to host it and that’s okay too. But where possible, a friend or someone from the bridal party should step up and offer to at least co-host and thereby split the cost. The bridal shower invitations should come from someone other than the mom. Traditional wording might say, “You’re invited to Laura’s bridal shower compliments of Suzie, her maid of honor, and held at Brenda, her mom’s house.” The mother of the groom is also exempt from having to throw the shower, although chances are she’ll want a front row seat in the planning. Depending on if there are step-moms in the picture, be sure to check in with everyone so feelings aren’t hurt.

Co-Workers

Here’s where it gets a little tricky. Are co-workers of the bride expected to throw a separate shower? Yes and no. Co-workers are not required by any means to host an expensive off-site shower with the bride’s family and friends. That’s the job of the maid of honor. But, if you and a group of co-workers are very close to the bride, you might offer to throw a small bridal shower during lunch hour in the company break room. You can include everyone from your department (or those at work who are close to her). Simply purchase a sheet cake or make cookies or muffins and decorate with streamers and balloons. This will, of course, depend on the workplace atmosphere and protocol. Do as much or as little as you like. And if you feel your workplace is not the best atmosphere to host a small fete for the bride, offer to take her out for drinks or dinner with the people she’s close to at work and you can give her your gifts there. Sometimes, depending on how close you are to the bride, you will also be invited to the family’s shower. If so, you may want to keep it under your hat, as surely some folks from work will not be invited and you want to avoid hurt feelings.

More on Bridal Showers:

• How Many Bridal Showers Should a Bride Have
• Free Bridal Shower Game Ideas
• Most Popular Wedding Registries
• Wedding & Bridal Shower Theme Ideas
• Unique Bridal Shower Favor Ideas
• Fun Bridal Shower Themes