The first step is to decide if you want a religious ceremony or secular.  If you choose a religious officiant, like a pastor or priest, they may require that you and your future spouse receive pre-marital education or counseling.  The religious or secular nature of a wedding is an important consideration, too, because it often affects the ceremony itself as faiths celebrate marriage in different ways.  In many religious ceremonies, there is a great deal of tradition and ritual, which may be just what you want. Or it may not be.  Your choice of officiant may be affected, at least in part, by the type of wedding you want.

Before you speak with possible officiants, think about what, exactly, you want them to do.  Yes, they will pronounce you husband and wife, but do you have other expectations?  Do you want him/her to plan or write the ceremony?  Help at the rehearsal?  Help ensure the ceremony runs smoothly?  Book another officiant for you if he has an emergency or is sick on your wedding day?  These details may seem small now, but they won't when you are walking down the aisle.

You should like your officiant.  If it is not possible to engage the services of someone you know, then meet with possible candidates and see how you respond to them.  Are they warm and personable?  Do they have a nice voice that will carry?  Do they speak well and fluently?  Do they seem happy about performing your ceremony?  More and more weddings today can be termed “nontraditional.” Will your officiant be open and accepting of blended families, of couples in which one or both partners has been divorced, of interracial, interfaith, or same sex couples?  Will he be willing to perform the ceremony in your chosen locale?  All of these questions, and more, are important to discuss prior to any agreement.

In the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, don't forget to dot your i's and cross your t's.  Make sure to book your officiant as soon as possible to ensure he/she will be available.  And do make sure he/she is legally authorized to marry you!  The requirements vary by state.  Check your state here to make sure that everything is in order.

Another consideration is the officiant's fee.  This, of course, will depend on the individual, the area, and the specifics of the ceremony, as well as how much responsibility the officiant has.  The fee can be as little as $50 or as much as $1,500.  According to the Bridal Association of America, the average fee for a justice of the peace is $50 to $100.  A retired judge or intern minister typically costs between $100 and $200, while a church official or professional officiant costs between $200 and $400.  If this seems high, remember that this is often the lowest fee among all the vendors you will engage, and it is the most important as well.

An option more and more couples are choosing is to have a friend or family member ordained.  This way, a loved one can perform the ceremony.  The Universal Life Church, for instance, ordains clergy for this purpose.  They have ordained more than 20 million people online.  The laws in your state may allow this or have conditions, so if you are interested, check the ULC site for more information.

Choosing an officiant for your wedding takes some consideration and time; don't settle for less than your ideal. It will make all the difference on your wedding day when you like both people who are waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

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As you might expect, military weddings carry with them a great amount of tradition, ritual, rules, and regulations.  But in many respects, planning a military ceremony is just like planning a “regular” one: you need to start early.  Just as desired venues get scooped up fast, especially during peak seasons, military chapels and halls are also booked well in advance.  It is advisable to book your chapel and reception venue a year in advance by applying to the chaplain’s office.  Check to make sure you are eligible for a military wedding as some rules apply.

If the service is performed at a military chapel or on academy grounds, the chaplain charges no fee, but do plan on making a donation to the chapel.  Some chapels allow another clergy person to co-officiate, so do ask if you would like to pursue that option – and you will have to pay that officiant’s fee.  Your chaplain may require pre-wedding counseling as well.

Speak with your chaplain about proper seating as there are some guidelines to consider.  Also ask about flowers and chapel decorations because rules vary.  The Chapel Altar Guild does arrange the flowers, candelabra, and other décor, and this is the same for every wedding.  You may have to provide your own reception decoration or even plan it yourself.  Part of the appeal of military weddings is the sense of tradition, and this extends to every detail, down to the decorations. And don't forget to look into matching wedding accessories as well.

Military weddings are gorgeous, and a large part of that are the uniforms.  Officers or enlisted personnel in the bridal party wear their uniforms (which may differ depending on the seasonal regulations or formality of the wedding).  A black-tie affair, for instance, would require dinner or mess dress uniforms, while a white-tie and tails event would require evening dress uniforms.  Non-commissioned officers wear dress blues or Army greens, and none of the uniformed service people wear a boutonniere.  Guests who serve in the military can choose to wear their uniforms or civilian clothing.

What if the bride is an officer?  Does she have to wear her uniform?  She may, but she may also wear a bridal gown, if she chooses.  Even the military knows not to mess with the dress.

There are also rules for the receiving line and reception.  For example, if the groom is uniformed, he must be before the bride in the receiving line.  Again, your chaplain is a great resource and can help you follow the regs – and have a great wedding!

The arch of the sabers (or swords, for the Navy) is optional, but it is often a highlight of the ceremony. Surprise; there are rules for this too!  In the Army, for instance, the couple exits the church under the arch.  In the Navy and Marines, the ushers usually form the saber detail, while in the Air Force, they cannot.  Regardless of the branch of the military, it is a stunning tradition.

From seating and decorations to dress and cutting the cake, there are rituals and traditions in every detail of the ceremony and reception. The rules and regulations may seem overwhelming at first, but chaplains (and handy websites!) are there to guide you through your military wedding preparations.

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Plan enough time to get ready the day of your wedding. If it’s in the morning, allow several hours so you can have a cup of coffee in peace before everyone arrives to do your hair and makeup. And eat something. Many a bride has forgotten to eat on her wedding day and either passed out or gotten loopy with the first glass of champagne.

Designate before the big day who will be running last minute errands. Arrange for people who are reliable yet not urgently needed elsewhere that morning for pictures or to help dress you.

Errands that will need to be done the morning of the wedding are: picking up the flowers, ensuring the cake has arrived at the location (a phone call will do), ensuring there is cash or a check to pay the bartender, wedding venue or restaurant and musicians. You’ll also need payments and tips for the limo drivers and hairdresser and makeup artist. The last thing you want to be doing is handing out cash on your special day. Delegate this task to a person you can trust. Have envelopes clearly marked “Caterer” and “Limo Driver” so that nothing gets mixed up.

On track with being organized, it doesn't hurt to have a little floor plan mapped out so your assistants know where to put not only guest place cards, but the guest book, gift table, wedding favors, etc. Not to mention, a picture of how you want the tables to look as well. This will all help in the long run.

Designate a trustworthy friend the keeper of all wedding day gifts. People bring gifts to the wedding and they need to be put somewhere and monitored for theft. And often, people bring envelopes of cash as their gift. You don’t want those precious envelopes sitting out in public where restaurant patrons and other strangers can help themselves. Your trusty friend is now in charge of keeping watch. You’re excused from having to worry about it. That same person should bring the gifts home after the event to hold for you or drop them at your parents’ house or your own apartment.

Someone will need to be in charge of taking your wedding gown home if you are departing for your honeymoon right from the wedding. Even if you are staying over at a hotel for the night and leaving the next day, you want your wedding dress in safe hands and out of the way. Plan for an aunt or sibling to take it. You can change into a pretty but simple “going away” outfit before you leave the reception.

Wear comfortable shoes. It doesn’t matter if you paid $400 for a pair of beaded satin heels if your feet ache the whole day. Go for comfort. Some brides like to have a decorative pair of fun flip flops or ballet shoes to dance in. And some even wear white sneakers. You don’t have to go that drastic, but arrange well before your wedding day to break in your wedding shoes.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Yes, it is your wedding day. Yes, you planned and prepared and spent a lot of time and money. But it’s not the end of the world if you flub a word in your vows or the ring bearer drops the rings. There will be tiny mishaps—everything from a run in your stocking to the bathroom being out of toilet paper at the restaurant. Everyone will come running to you with their problems…UNLESS you set up a No Comment Zone. Tell your wedding planner, mom, dad, and anyone else who’ll back you up that you are not going to be fielding complaints or solving problems that arise. Once you step into your dress, you are a bride. You are not required to run interference for two relatives who are bickering or monitor how many drinks Uncle Vince has had. Just smile and enjoy the day whatever comes your way.

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It’s really up to you. There are no rules. You have to consider several things, however. First, if your wedding is very formal, are you going to want children running around? It also depends on whose children you are talking about inviting. Are you going to invite your sister’s young children because they are your nieces and nephews? Are you feeling pressured to invite your bridesmaid’s children because she’s in the wedding party?

These are issues that will come up. And again, it’s up to you. While it might feel horrible to you to exclude a two year old nephew—and so you invite him—there’s no reason you have to have every two year old child that’s in any way connected to the wedding.

Any children from past marriages should be given the opportunity to choose to come or not. If they don’t want to come, that’s their choice, but definitely extend the invitation. The last thing you want is to start out your new married life with bruised feelings.

When it comes to your bridesmaids or best friends, you may want to have a private talk with them way before the issue even comes up. Tell them that you are planning a more formal evening and children would be out of place. She may be offended, so be prepared. Talk about how much you want her in the wedding and that you’d like her to be free to just enjoy herself too.

If you decide to have children at your wedding, you do have some options to control disruptions. You can hire a nanny for the day. Provide a children’s area complete with crayons and small games to occupy the children. Depending on their ages, some of them can even help entertain the younger ones. The nanny can be a high school girl or a local teen that you know from church. Ask around. Someone may just love the idea of making a few bucks for watching the children during a wedding.

You can have a separate meal for the children that is more to their liking without having to alter the adult menu. Serve mac and cheese and chicken fingers and they’ll all be happy. Have a tent for the kids, and offer wedding favors or kids gifts so they can have their own little play area. Or rent a bounce house that they can play with outside while the guests are dancing and dining.

Many children are perfectly well behaved and can join the regular festivities. If you have a mom who is in the bridal party, she can ask her husband to supervise the child while she’s off taking photos. You may even want to offer her the option to sit with her child instead of at the head table so the child can spend time with mom (and act up less).

Either way you choose to go, children at your wedding are your choice. Don’t let anyone sway you one way or the other. Do what feels right to you and your fiancé.

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First, you risk hurting someone’s feelings. If your mom or dad had their heart set on throwing you a big wedding, count the cost of running off without them. If you just want to rush it because the thought of all that planning makes you crazy, hire someone to help out. A good wedding planner will take a lot of the work off your plate. If it’s a matter of cost, you could plan a more casual, smaller wedding and still include those you love.

But perhaps your reasons for eloping are that you are so in love and want to be married right away. Perhaps you just aren’t the big wedding type and a smaller ceremony is the only thing that will work for you and your partner. You’ll want to know how and where to elope to make it memorable.

First, check with local laws about marriage licenses. If you’re going for the city hall civil ceremony, just call your local town hall or city marriage bureau (find them online or in the phone book), and ask them what the process entails. Do you need blood tests? Is there a waiting period after you apply for the license? Every state is different, so don’t risk being disappointed because you didn’t take time to get the facts.

Who do you want to officiate? Do you want the justice of the peace? Find out if he or she is available. A justice of the peace may be an employee if the city hall or of a courthouse nearby. You can have a civil ceremony any place they will be willing to meet you. Consider a park or local spot of beauty or inspiration. It can be outside or inside. It’s still legal as long as you have applied for and gotten your marriage license and the person is legally authorized to marry people in your state (be sure to ask if they are, don’t assume!)

If you want to hop a plane and tie the knot, have a Las Vegas wedding. It is the wedding capital of the world and for good reason. There is no waiting time between applying for a marriage license and having the ceremony in Vegas. The city hall stays open 24 hours for just this purpose. Hundreds of tiny wedding chapels line the streets. You can pop in for a quick wedding and even drive through to get married without getting out of your car! Marry at the little chapel Elvis and Priscilla did, or choose from any of the modern, attractive and all-inclusive chapels. You can go as fancy as you like. Many chapels will rent you a dress and shoes and flowers. The groom can get his tux too on rental. You can run in and be married in a few minutes.

But keep in mind that the highest volume of weddings in Las Vegas are on Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, so plan your trip accordingly.

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• Find service providers you can trust. Let the caterer do her job. Let the bakery handle the cake details. Your limo driver can manage getting you and the limos to the church. Your hand does not have to be in every single detail.
• Delegate things that you don’t absolutely have to do yourself. Do you have to tie ribbons on 240 miniature wedding bubbles? Not if it’s going to make you crazy. Let a bridesmaid or other friend handle this detail.
• If you’re the type of person who can’t let anything go, now’s your time to rethink your style. There are things in the wedding planning process that you can’t control. You’re going to have to relax and let everything just fall into place. You have no say on whether it rains on your day—but you can have backup plans for a tent with side walls in place. Plan for the unexpected, then let it go.
• Enlist the groom’s help. While you may not trust him to select the groomsmen’s attire alone, you can give him tasks that are less visible but just as necessary. Let him call a couple of limo companies to find the best rate. Let him book the airline tickets to the honeymoon. He can be in charge of making sure his out-of-town friends have places to stay. And he can certainly call hotels and arrange to reserve a block of rooms for guests.
• Cut out the non-essentials. Who says you have to follow every single tradition from time immemorial? Why not just go for the essentials. You want nice flowers, a nice dress, tuxedos, yes. But do you really have to have bows on your pews at the church, a sign-in table that Martha Stewart would be proud of, and handmade chair covers at the reception? No. Just do what feels natural and let the rest go. No one will notice a single detail missing as long as you cover the basics.
• Buy, don’t make. If you’re the kind of bride who feels like they have to make the wedding favors by hand, hand-letter the invitations and personally arrange each centerpiece, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. A store-bought or florist-made centerpiece is just as nice as one you spent hours stressing over yourself.
• Ask for help. Your family and friends want to help. Just ask. Keep a detailed list of every task that needs to get done. Ask mom or another trusted family member to help you dole out tasks. Assign yourself only the essentials like selecting your wedding dress and the menu. Your brother is capable of coming up with a song list for the DJ. Then you just have to approve it. Ditto for most every other task you can think of. You and the groom handle the overarching details and let everyone else pitch in for the rest.
• If it’s relatives that are making you feel like a frayed knot, use this response: “I’m afraid not.” When your new mother-in-law suggests your bridesmaids wear plaid or your old college roommate insists on bringing her twin toddlers, just say, “I’m afraid not.” Leave it at that and don’t open the matter up for further discussion. Put your foot down politely and you will feel the stress lifting off you.

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Before starting this article, I should probably let you know that I am one of the brides described above. For my wedding, I wanted the guests to know that it was going to be a fun night and that we weren't afraid to let loose and enjoy ourselves. So what did we do? We had the bridal party come in to the song, "I Gotta Feelin" by the Black Eyed Peas and when it was our turn to come in - I had the DJ play the song, "Bring 'em out" by T.I.. My husband and I put our sunglasses on and danced hysterically to the head table. And I have to say, it really got the mood going! People were laughing and clapping and having a great time!

So, without further ado, here are some great songs to use for your grand entrance!

Fun, Pump-Up Entrance Songs:

1. I Gotta Feelin - Black Eyed Peas
2. Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
3. Time of My Life - Black Eyed Peas
4. Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
5. On the Floor - Jennifer Lopez
6. Now That We Found Love - Heavy D & The Boyz
7. Raise Your Glass - Pink
8. Sandstorm - Darude
9. Friday - Rebecca Black (funny for Friday weddings)
10. Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Seger
11. Blow - Ke$ha
12. Rocky Theme Song
13. Let's Get Loud - Jennifer Lopez
14. Marry You - Bruno Mars
15. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N' Roses

Sweet, Sentimental Entrance Songs:

1. My Wish - Rascal Flatts
2. The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra
3. Better Together - Jack Johnson
4. Lost in this Moment - Big & Rich
5. How Sweet It Is - James Taylor
6. 1, 2, 3, 4 - Plain White T's
7. A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson
8. The Luckiest - Ben Folds
9. Everything - Michael Buble
10. I'll Be There - Michael Jackson
11. Me and You - Kenny Chesney
12. Love - Matt White
13. Say Hey, I Love You - Michael Franti & Spearhead
14. Marry Me - Train
15. We are Family - Sister Sledge

Got an idea? Post a comment!

Need more reception help? Try some of these great articles:

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Go Vintage

If you love vintage style, you’re in luck. You can visit vintage shops and pick up your gown, your wedding jewelry, bridal party gifts, and maybe even your shoes. You’ll pay a fraction of what you’d pay in a retail store for brand new items and the charm will be so much more pleasing. Search for vintage shops online as well as in your home town. You might just score a beaded handbag or silk pumps from eBay. You never know until you look. Your groom can go retro, too, with a tuxedo from a consignment shop. Most tuxedos have barely even been worn when they are dropped off at a vintage store. Take advantage of the cheap price and save the money on a rental.

Go Faux

Flowers are one of the biggest expenses of your wedding day. You will be surprised how much you can save by having artificial silk flowers at your wedding. No one will know the difference. You can make the arrangements yourself well ahead of time and not have to worry about fresh flowers getting to the wedding or reception. Today’s silk flowers are more beautiful than ever. You can’t even tell them from their real counterparts unless you are staring at them up close. You’ll all get to keep your flowers forever and not have to pay to have a bouquet preserved. If you want a fresh flowers scent, spray some rose cologne or other floral scent on each bouquet before the wedding.

Go Different

Everyone wants to get married in June at the most popular reception hall in town. So, to save money and avoid the trumped up prices that catering halls charge for peak times, go with a different venue than everyone else. Host your reception at an aquarium or museum. They often make packages available that include the catering and everything. They want to attract more people to their facilities and you want a cheaper price. Everyone’s happy. You’ll be surprised at the lovely private rooms some out of the way venues have that you’ll get all to yourselves. Consider botanical gardens or a park with a conservatory that you can rent for the reception.

Go with Friends

Have a friend who plays the violin? An old pal that DJs on the side? Make use of anyone and everyone who offers their talents to you. And if they don’t offer, it can’t hurt to ask. Don’t expect all but your closest friends to work for free. You will still want to pay a fair rate to a friend who helps out, but chances are you’ll get a huge discount over what a stranger would charge you. Let friends help you out with making wedding favors, centerpieces, decorations, and more. If you have a friend with lovely penmanship, ask her to write out your invitation envelopes in exchange for babysitting or pet sitting for her. Barter and swap as much as you can.

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By the time the night before your wedding arrives, you’re going to be overcome with joy and excitement. Your rehearsal dinner should help spread that bubbling happiness to the wedding party. Here are some ways you can ensure it’s a hit.

• Schedule the rehearsal for a decent time. Don’t make it too late. Remember, your guests have to get up in the morning for your wedding and so do you. A good time to have the rehearsal is 5:00 pm. You’ll be having drinks and dinner by 6:00 and everyone will still have time to go to their hotel room or home to relax.
• Keep it short. The idea of the rehearsal is to get everyone on the same page about where they fit in to the ceremony. You only have to do a quick run-through with the officiant. Don’t get bogged down with minute details. And relax if the flower girl is not listening or the best man looks distracted. Everyone will rise to the occasion on the big day.
• Your job is to make it through the rehearsal calmly. Wear something that you can move around in and still look lovely in. Don’t wear a tight fitting outfit that’s going to make you cranky. A loose flowing skirt or pantsuit is ideal. You want your guests to see you relaxed, not flustered.
• Plan to have the rehearsal dinner at a location close to the church or site of the ceremony if it’s outdoors. You don’t want to ask guests who have just driven from out of town to get in their cars and drive another hour to the dinner. Keep it local.
• Go with a tried and true favorite restaurant for the dinner. This is not the time to try the new fish fry that just opened or the honky tonk bar that you think might be fun. Go with a venue that you’ve eaten at and liked the service. That way there are no surprises.
• See if you can reserve a whole room for your party. Most restaurants have the ability to close off an area for a bigger party. That way, everyone sits together and feels included.
• Keep the menu choices to a minimum. If you want everyone’s food to come out of the kitchen at the same time, offer only three entrees. It will be easier for guests to decide and simpler for the kitchen staff.
• Have an open bar if you like, but remember it is costly. If you’ve got the budget to spare, it’s a nice touch. You might just offer wine at the table and beer as a choice. It’s up to you. Make sure you provide designated drivers and children with cranberry juice, sodas, and ice water.
• Keep the evening short and sweet. Finish off with a nice pastry for everyone for dessert. By the time dessert is over, most guests just want to get home and rest up, especially the older relatives. Don’t make them feel obligated to stay up with your old college pals into the wee hours. Let everyone know it’s ok to leave whenever they’d like.
• This is the time to give out your bridal party gifts if you are going to give them. Make sure you're prepared and not throwing this together at the last minute! You don't need the extra stress the night before the wedding. If you want to just give gift baskets or something simple, that's okay!
• Be generous with your time at the dinner. You may be thinking that you only have a few hours before you’ve got to make sure everything goes off without a hitch, but everyone else wants to talk to the bride and groom. Give everyone a few quality minutes of your time. Sit down and talk with everyone. This may be the only time you have privately to talk to them as the wedding day is often a happy blur of dancing and eating and drinking. And you want everyone to feel welcomed and important. Extend yourself especially to the other side of the family if you don’t know them. After all, some people may have driven a long way to meet you.

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A really fantastic wedding planner will help eliminate your stress about the big day. You will have to pay her or him, yes, but you are buying peace of mind. So budget for it and then find yourself the best wedding planner you can afford.

You can start your search for a wedding planner online. Wedding planners are also called wedding consultants. Check under these search terms in your city. Ask for recommendations from other brides you know. You’re bound to come up with several names.

What should you ask a prospective wedding planner before hiring her? Have a list of questions ready when you meet her or talk to her on the phone. The more you know about her, the easier it will be to choose the right planner.

Ask these types of questions:

• How long have you been a wedding planner? Can I see photos of some of the recent weddings you have done? If she says no, bolt.
• Do you have any references? Would you mind if I called a few of them? If she’s unwilling to hand out references, you should start to wonder why.
• Ask around and check out your wedding planner’s company online and in the Better Business Bureau’s listings. If you read anything unfavorable, check it out.
• Which types of services will you provide? Get a brochure or list from her that tells exactly which parts of the planning she will be involved in. Many wedding planners do everything from day one and others will step in only for the areas you need them to plan.
• Can I see a typical contract you use? You want to be sure that you are going to get a contract in writing with the full price you will owe her at the end of the planning.
• Will she be there the day of the wedding? It sounds obvious, but ask. Not all wedding planners intend to be there on the big day. They may feel their obligations end when the planning is done. If you want her there, make sure it’s part of the package you are paying for.
• How does she calculate her prices? Will she be taking a set percentage of your wedding budget? A set fee in round numbers no matter what you add? Charge by the activity she plans? You’ll save yourself a lot of headaches if you discuss this up front. If you fall in love with the work of one planner but she’s out of your budget, you may have to look for someone else. The last thing you want to do is blow your budget on the wedding planner and have to skimp on the actual wedding.
• Does she work with any vendors exclusively? For instance, will she make you get your cake from a certain bakery no matter what you say? Often unscrupulous types receive bonuses from certain vendors if they direct clients to them. You don’t want to be involved in this sort of arrangement. You want vendors and planners who are on the level.

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