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Archive for the ‘Wedding Traditions’ Category

If you grew up in the southern United States, you’ve probably heard about and even seen many groom’s cakes. However, the rest of the U.S. tends to be a bit stumped when it comes to the tradition of the groom’s cake. Why have one? And when is it served? Is it required?

The groom’s cake enjoys a long history. A groom’s cake was a part of every wedding in ancient times. This cake, usually soaked in liquor and made of something decadent like dark chocolate, was included along with the wedding cake. It was an entirely separate cake that was not meant to be served at the wedding. It was supposed to be cut and at the end of the wedding sent home with guests. Single women were supposed to take their piece and sleep with it under their pillow so that they would dream of the man they would marry.

While modern brides and grooms may not believe that a cake will bring a mate to their single friends, they are choosing more and more to include the groom’s cake for the sake of tradition. It has long been a favorite tradition in the south and is now catching on in other parts of the country as well. If you choose to include a groom’s cake, it will be a lovely addition.

The groom’s cake is now being served as gourmet desserts at the rehearsal dinner or as an optional dessert at the actual reception. Or, some bridal parties are enjoying the groom’s cake after the guests have all gone home as a special treat.

What you do with the groom’s cake is up to you. If you want to include it, it’s perfectly fine to have it made of any ingredients you like. Ask the groom what his favorite flavor is and then work with that. Many bakeries are getting outrageously creative with their cake decorating. The popularity of cooking shows has caused bakeries to open the floodgates of creativity to outdo one another. So feel free to ask for a groom’s cake from your favorite bakery in any shape and style you can dream up. Is the groom a baseball fan? Have a cake made to look like Yankee Stadium. Does he love fishing? Do a cake in the shape and size of a giant bass. There is really no decoration a bakery won’t do for you. So get creative. Go with his favorite hobby or vacation destination as a starting point. Here are a few ideas that have been done:

Decide where you would like the groom’s cake to be served. If it will be cut up at the reception and sent home with guests, make sure you have cute little cake boxes on hand for the restaurant or caterer to place the pieces in. You can order lovely cake boxes just like favor boxes, find them online in just about every shape and size imaginable. Try to get a box that matches your cake’s theme or the theme of the wedding decor. Remember, the boxes will be brought out and placed in front of your guests, so make sure they are special. And make sure they’re sturdy so there are no accidents on the way to the car. Your guests will be pleasantly surprised to find an old tradition like the groom’s cake being resurrected for modern weddings.

More Wedding Traditions:

• Dollar Dance Tradition Cool or Not?
• Tossing the Garter Tradition
• Who Pays for What at a Wedding?
• Wedding Invitation History
• Wedding Superstitions

It used to be, in the days before active conservationists came on the scene, that rice was the thing to throw at weddings. No one gave it a second thought. It was supposed to signify good luck and prosperity to the happy couple. But instead, it was discovered that birds were eating the grains of rice and their bellies were becoming swelled. Apparently rice isn’t the best food for birds.

So careful brides switched over to bird seed. Wrapped in tulle or little bags, the birdseed can be fun and healthy for the birds at the same time. But it can be a little messy. Who wants to end up with bird seed in their expensive hairdo?

An alternative that finally makes sense is the inclusion of wedding bubbles. At the end of the ceremony, as the bride and groom exit the church, guests can blow bubbles at the departing couple. This solves all the problems!

Neatly packaged bubbles now exist for brides to purchase. They can be done up in ribbons or left as is. They now come in little white bottles in the shape of hearts or in other festive shapes. They include a tiny wand and soap bubble solution. Brides can now order them in bulk online for just pennies each. These cute little containers can be used as wedding favors to give away or just be used at the ceremony.

Some brides choose to wrap a bow or ribbon in their theme color around the tops of the bottles. It can be a cute touch, but if you find that your time is limited, you may want to skip this step. If you can’t imagine sitting down and tying ribbons to 150-300 miniature bottles, then skip the ribbon. They’ll look just as festive as is.

Bubbles are a nice way to go as there is no messy clean up. There’s also a nice photo opportunity when the bubbles are being blown. Instead of a whirling mass of birdseed flying in the air, guests will be seen oohing and ahhing over the lovely bubbles floating over the bride’s and groom’s heads. And the fun usually breaks out as guests turn into kids again and start blowing bubbles at each other, too.

It’s a great way to add levity to your ceremony and reception. Bubbles lend an air of freedom and lightheartedness. It sets the tone that the reception may be formal, but it won’t be stuffy. Guests just love when they see bubbles. There’s something about being allowed to blow bubbles in public that makes everyone giggle. Be sure to save several for your flower girl and ring bearer as they’ll really stay entertained by them.

You can shop online under “wedding bubbles” or you can go to a crafts store and pick up bundles of the little bottles all set to go. They usually come in packages of six or nine and are just a few dollars per pack. They have even shown up at the dollar store in the favors aisle. So you can cross off expensive birdseed packets from your list. These beauties are just a few cents each to bring home and they have a lot of eye appeal. It’s one trend that’s worth trying out.

More Popular Wedding Trends:

• The Wedding Sand Ceremony Trend
• Wedding Centerpiece Trends
• Wedding Cake Trends
• A New Trend Photobooths at the Reception
• Wedding Cake Topper Trends

Who still hand writes their thank you notes? If you’re raising your hand right now, good for you! They mean a lot. True story- I received a hand-written thank you note just today and it made me smile. The short but sweetly written note of appreciation from my friend meant a lot to me. And, it will mean a lot to your wedding guests too!

Recipe for Writing Thank You's

1. Everyone who sent a gift should receive a thank you note.

2. Keep it real. Keep it sincere.

3. Take your time to avoid spelling errors, etc.

4. Both bride and groom should share in writing their thank you's.

5. Send thank you's to your wedding party and parents.

Optional: Send thank you's to the vendors who have done an exceptional job realizing your vision.

How soon should they be sent?

Life gets busy right away after the honeymoon so I suggest you write them as soon as possible- within 2 weeks – 1 month. If gifts come before the wedding, send your thank you cards right away.

What do you write about?

It’s always courteous to mention the gift and perhaps how you will use it. What else? Acknowledge anything special about the guest or the sacrifice they made to come to your wedding.

Helpful tips in writing your thank you notes:

• Coordinate your thank you's with the rest of your wedding stationery to round out your look.
• Whenever you receive a gift, use your guest list to record who gave what.
• If the gift came damaged, no need to mention it to your guest
• Find a comfortable place to write and a use a really great pen.
• Set a goal to write a certain number of thank you notes each day.

An Example

Dear Uncle Jake and Aunt Kitty,

Thanks so much for coming to our wedding.  It was so great to see you and we really appreciate that you traveled to be with us on our big day. Thanks also for the custom picture frame. We love it and can’t wait to choose the perfect wedding photo for it.

Love,

John and Susan

As a bride, you’ll have many details to attend to. Once you are engaged, thoughts will immediately turn to the people you intend to ask to be in your bridal party. Bridal parties have changed a little recently. Many brides are choosing male friends as part of their bridesmaid ensemble and many grooms are choosing female friends as their groomsmen or Best Man.

So, how do you navigate the confusing terminology such as Maid of Honor versus Matron of Honor? What’s the difference?

It’s actually quite simple. A Maid of Honor is the head bridesmaid and she is an unmarried woman, typically the bride’s best friend, sister, or favorite female relative. A Matron of Honor is exactly the same thing—a head bridesmaid—but the difference is that she is a married at the time of your wedding.

That’s really all that differentiates between a maid and matron. Maids will typically be younger, unmarried girls and the matron will typically be a married older sister or relative or best friend.

There are some things you should consider before choosing your Maid or Matron of Honor. First off, once you ask someone you can’t un-ask them. So choose wisely. You don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by asking them in haste and then having to retract your offer. Another thing to consider is availability. Your best friend from college may be your first choice, but if she has to fly in from China for the ceremony, she’s probably not the best person to ask to be your Maid of Honor. She will not have the time to spend with you that the role of Maid of Honor requires.

Also, you will want to consider your Maid of Honor’s schedule. Does she work crazy hours as an Emergency Room doctor and may not be available when you need her? Would asking her make her feel obligated to accept when she really won’t have the time she’d like to devote to you? Does your sister’s work schedule often call her away on business unexpectedly? Talk with her and ask her if she has the time and willingness to devote to the job. Make it known that your feelings won’t be hurt if she has to decline.

A Maid of Honor may be young and therefore not able to contribute monetarily to the bachelorette party and bridal shower as much as she’d like to. If this is the case, family and friends may help out,  but be sure that she is comfortable with her role before you assign her the job.

Another huge factor to consider is a Matron of Honor’s family life. If she is pregnant and going to be nearing her due date right before your wedding, she’s not the best choice for your Maid of Honor. Not only will she be uncomfortably pregnant but she could deliver at any time. Also, if she has small children, she may have to attend to them and prefer you chose someone else as your first bridesmaid. It all depends on the relationship you have to your family and friends. Be honest and tell them your concerns. Avoid making any public announcements about who will definitely be in your wedding party before consulting everyone involved.

And amongst everything, don't forget to get her a maid of honor gift, after all her hard work, be sure that you thank her appropriately!

More on Bridal Party Fun:

• Wedding Party Gifts
• Maid of Honor Speech Advice
• Becoming Engaged

When the time comes, will you know how to conduct your wedding cake cutting ceremony? Most people have seen the cutting of a wedding cake at a celebration they’ve been to. But it’s your first time actually being in the ceremony. It’s not complicated, and most bands or DJ's will guide you along. Here’s how you do it.

The cake-cutting ceremony happens near the end of the wedding. Your cake will have been set out for all to admire for the whole reception. After dinner, the band or DJ will signal you that it’s time to cut the cake. You and your future spouse should select a song ahead of time that you would like to have played during the cake cutting. It can be your favorite song or a sentimental song, but it should be a slow one. This is not the time to blast out the Funky Chicken.

As the music starts to play, that will be your cue to get up and go over near the cake. Your photographer should already be heading over there as well. The only set rule is that the groom’s right hand covers the bride’s right hand as you cut the bottom layer of the cake together. Use an heirloom cake knife or one that you purchased especially for this day.

One reason for cutting the bottom layer of the wedding cake is so you don’t damage the tower and end up crashing it. The other reason is so that the top layer of the cake can be saved. You and your groom will take it home, place it in the freezer, and eat it on your first anniversary. Some brides and grooms choose to eat the cake on their first month anniversary while the cake is still fresh and edible. It’s only symbolic, so you can do whichever you like.

You’ll remove your small piece of cake and put it on a cake plate. There should be two forks there for you. The groom will feed you a small piece of cake and then you will feed him a small piece of cake. This is supposed to signify the beginning of your life together and the hearth and home. Food is traditionally a symbol of home, so you’re showing your willingness to make a home together.

Some people like to smash wedding cake into each other’s faces. But when you have paid to have your makeup, hair, and gown look pristine, you’re not going to want cake splattered everywhere. It’s up to you though. If you are fun-loving and want to do it, go for it.

The next part of the tradition says that the bride cuts and serves two pieces of cake for her parents. The groom then cuts and serves two pieces of cake for his parents.

The caterer or reception hall liaison will then take over and cut and serve the rest of the cake. Don’t be alarmed if you turn around and it’s gone. The staff usually wheels it out into the kitchen so they can cut the cake there.

Everyone will be served their cake and coffee. When they are finished, traditionally the wedding reception starts to wind down. Guests will start coming up to you and saying goodbye.

More Wedding Traditions:

• Dollar Dance Tradition Cool or Not?
• Cash Bar at the Reception - Tacky or Not?
• The Wedding Sand Ceremony Trend
• Roles of Bridal Party Members

As the stresses of wedding planning mount, you may be tempted to cut down the guest list to two: you and your spouse-to-be.  This feeling only grows as you tackle one of the trickiest aspects of a wedding, the reception seating list. There are so many factors to consider that you may be tempted to throw in the towel and have everyone grab the first seat you can.  You could always arrange a reception-wide game of musical chairs, or you could take a deep breath and follow these tips.

The first step is an easy one: find out how many guests you have (planning for those one or two who RSVP at the last minute or decide to bring another guest) and how many tables and chairs you will need.  Call your reception venue and ask how they will be arranging the tables.  If the venue is somewhere that you are going to set up, like a backyard, then work on the configuration first.  How would you like the tables arranged, and how many people will fit comfortably at each?

Next, decide how you want to arrange the head table.  Traditionally, the bride and groom sit with their attendants at a table in the front of the reception location.  Some couples are now forgoing that tradition in favor of having a table-for-two to themselves.  The attendants either sit at another “head” table or with the other guests.  This is purely up to your preference and which option you think your bridesmaids and groomsman will be most comfortable with.

These exercises are the warm-up. Now comes the workout.  It helps to enlist the aid of both sets of parents if there are a lot of family members coming or if they have invited guests with whom they are more familiar.  They can give you suggestions as to who should be seated next to each other based on their prior relationship or interests.

With relatives and friends, try to seat people who know and like each other together. If, for instance, you invite your five work friends, have them sit together.  If you have six or seven person tables, add a couple that you think will mingle well with them.  If you have “random” guests, or those who don’t know your other guests, try to pair them with your chatty friends and family members so they feel more comfortable at your reception.  If you make an entire table of these unrelated, unfamiliar guests, chances are they will become bored or uncomfortable, especially if they are more reserved or quiet.

The seating at tables is difficult, but the positioning of the place cards at the tables can be even more challenging.  Your mother wants to be front and center, his mother wants to be right up there, too.  Your best friend wants to be at the table closest to the couple, but your aunt thinks that is her rightful place.  People seem to think that the closer they are to the table, the more important they are to the wedding!

Feelings can be hurt.  Before you start worrying about that, worry about things like children and elderly or handicapped guests.  Small children may need to be close to exits or bathrooms, and you might want to arrange tables of similarly aged children together.  Elderly guests may need to be within short walking distance to the buffet line or among the tables that do not have to be moved for dancing.  These types of considerations trump whose mom feels most important.

Seating parents can be a big challenge, especially if there are step-parents to consider in the seating chart.  Your mother may not want to sit with your father and his new wife, for instance.  Traditionally, the best table is reserved for the bride’s parents, with the second best going to the groom’s.  If one or both sets of parents are divorced, have a table for the mother and a separate one for the father (unless their relationship is completely amicable, which may be rare).  Maternal and paternal grandparents can then sit with their children.  If there is room, you can seat siblings and significant others here.

In general, you then seat other close relatives closer to the head table.  After close relatives are seated, you can arrange the remaining guests in a way that is most convenient.  To avoid hard feelings, make sure to visit each and every table at your reception.  Starting at the back is perhaps the best idea, as is spending a little extra time there.

No matter how hard you try, someone will always manage to be offended or feel slighted.  There is really no way to get around this if you have friends and family members like this.  The best tip is to arrange people as they and you will feel most comfortable.  If the would-be offended guest is very important to you, like your mother, you could save yourself the trouble and just ask her where she would like to sit.

Another helpful resource is this article on Seating Chart Creation Tips.

Each member of the bridal party has his or her own specific duties. If you’re the bride, you’ll want to let each person know what you’ll need them to do. If you’re in the bridal party, you’ll want to find out what might be expected of you so there are no embarrassing omissions. Traditions have dictated over the years what each role means, but today’s brides and grooms are customizing everything, so be sure to check where you’re needed.

Maid of Honor

This lady is the first mate to the captain, the bride. She’s in charge of making sure the bride has everything she needs to get ready on the morning of the wedding including her makeup and hair products, her dress and accessories. She’s also traditionally the one to throw the bridal shower and offer up the bachelorette party supplies. There are expenses that you’ll incur as the chief bridesmaid. If you can’t afford to pay for the parties as well as your dress and shoes, think about either declining to be the Maid of Honor or asking someone to share expenses for the parties with you. Often, the other bridesmaids will step in.

Best Man

The Best Man typically throws the bachelor party. On the big day, he is in charge of getting the groom to the church on time. He’s the one who drives the groom to the ceremony. He will usher family members to their seats and walk the Maid of Honor down the aisle and escort her out after the ceremony. He’s also in charge of holding the wedding rings until they are presented during the ceremony. Often, he will sign as a witness on the marriage certificate. He’s also on the front lines scouting for any problems that may creep up the day of the wedding. He may be asked to hand out checks to vendors who have to be paid such as the restaurant, pianist, etc.

Groomsmen

The groomsmen are there to stand up for the groom and offer him moral support. They help usher family and friends to their seats at the ceremony. They are also the escort for a bridesmaid and are partnered with her for the first dance at the reception. There is some expense involved in being a groomsman. You’ll need to rent a tuxedo and shoes. You’ll also need to travel to the site and be part of the rehearsal the night before. If you can't afford the hotel or clothing expenses, think about declining the offer.

Bridesmaids

After the Maid of Honor, you’re the ones who’ve got the bride’s back. Is she missing anything? Does she need anything to eat or drink? Does she want help with her veil? You’re also there to walk down the aisle in a procession before her. You’ll need to pay for a dress and shoes plus any jewelry the bride would like you to wear. It’s suggested you help pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party as well. At the wedding, you dance with the groomsman you’ve been paired up with and mingle so the bride sees everyone mixing and having a good time.

Flower Girl

Often a niece of the bride or groom, this little girl dresses in a mini version of the bride’s gown and is the first to walk down the aisle. She throws rose petals from a decorated basket and stands with the bridesmaids. If she is very young, she may go back to her seat with her parents. Her role after that is just to be adorable.

Ring Bearer

This is the little guy who brings the rings down the aisle, typically with or behind the flower girl. He carries them on a pillow with strings attached to hold the rings. Often he’s given plastic rings and the Best Man holds onto the actual rings. Once he makes his entrance, he usually sits down with his parents. Then, he gets to show off his dance moves at the reception.

Don't forget the bridal party gifts. Find some fun ideas on Wedding Party Gifts.

So you want to have a Las Vegas wedding? Whether you plan on doing a spur of the moment ceremony or want to fly in friends and family, Vegas offers an exciting backdrop for the wedding of your dreams.

Getting a License

First thing you will need is a marriage license. You will need to get that through the Nevada Marriage Licenses bureau. You can find them at:

Clark County Court House
200 South Third Street, First Floor
Las Vegas, Nevada 89115
702-455-4415

They stay open until midnight most nights, and on holidays they are open 24-hours. You’ll need to be at least 18 or have written parental consent if you’re 16 or 17. You’ll need to bring photo identifications, so call the Court House to see which documents they require to avoid disappointment. No blood tests are required. For a cash fee of $35, you’ll be granted a license you can use any time within one year from the issue date.

The Finer Points

As you might imagine, there are a host of businesses in Vegas that specialize in nothing but weddings. You’ll find more information online than you ever thought possible. Everything you need to know about a Vegas wedding can be found by searching “Vegas wedding” online. Ideas for chapels, reception venues, cakes, flowers and more abound. www.vegasweddingguide is a great source as is www.vegas.com, the official Las Vegas travel site.

Planning Logistics

Assuming you live outside the greater Las Vegas area, you’ll need to plan how you are going to get your guests into town. Allow guests enough time to make their travel arrangements. Send out Save the Date cards up to a year in advance if you can. Block out rooms at a hotel for guests and include that information with the card. Try to make everything as simple as possible for people.

Other things such as Vegas wedding favors or table centerpieces can get really creative. Play up your Las Vegas theme, and pick favors and decor that will be really fun for you and your guests. If you’re planning an elopement, keep reading.

Eloping

What an adventure to fly off to Vegas with just you and your fiancé to get married! If this is the route you are choosing, you can add little traditional elements that make the day special. There are bakeries in Las Vegas that will deliver you a miniature wedding cake for free. You and your new husband can enjoy it back at your hotel room. And speaking of hotels, there are many wonderful packages offered that include the wedding ceremony and hotel. You can find those on the internet. Often for as little as $199 you can have the ceremony and a night at a nice hotel.

There are also companies that will do your whole wedding outdoors in a garden or park including limo, flowers and champagne. Check out www.lasvegasmasterpieceweddings.com as a starting point. They’ll even include a minister for you! Other companies will provide a helicopter wedding complete with transport from your hotel to the top of a canyon for the ceremony. You can even get a violinist and special foods and beverages included. Vegas offers everything from gondola ride weddings to the original Elvis chapel. So dream big. If you can dream it, Vegas can accommodate it.

Consider…

While it may sound romantic to fly off to Vegas to get married, keep some important factors in mind.

• From May through September, temperatures can often reach a scorching one hundred degrees or hotter. A bridal gown with long sleeves or a heavy tuxedo jacket may not be the best option. Also, consider the time of year you’re going. Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve are two of the most crowded times for weddings in Vegas. You might want to plan for fall or early spring to beat the wedding chapel lines.
• You can actually rent a wedding gown in Vegas! This might be something to consider so you don’t have to invest a fortune in a dress you’ll wear once.
• Have your hair and makeup done in the hotel’s spa. It will save you having to run around looking for a stylist. And have your coiffure done right before you plan to leave for the ceremony so it doesn’t fall flat.
• If this is either party’s second marriage, you’ll need to have your divorce decree handy. You’ll need to provide the exact date and state of the divorce before you’ll be able to get a new license.

For more tips on Las Vegas weddings, try:

• Vegas Themed Wedding Cake Ideas
• Decorating for your Las Vegas Wedding
• Las Vegas Wedding Invitations
• Planning a Las Vegas Wedding

In olden times, people, often uneducated and illiterate, were very concerned about bad luck. When it came to weddings, they were even more afraid that something might happen to the bride and groom. So many wedding superstitions arose around that fear. Also, many happy traditions survived the years and are brought to the modern wedding as well.

What the Bride Sees

What the bride sees on her way to the wedding is a foreteller of what her married life will be like. If she sees a lamb or frog, it’s said to be good luck and she’ll have a happy life. Pigeons, wolves, and ducks are also luck bringers as are clergymen, policemen, and blind people. If the bride sees sunshine and a rainbow on her big day, this is the best luck of all. Finding a spider on your wedding dress is also thought to be the best of signs. Snow falling on the big day means prosperity and lots of children to come.

A bride should hope never to see a funeral procession, pig, or lizard on her way to the church.

The Groom

The groom should give everyone he meets a coin on the way to the wedding. It is hoped that he did not cross paths with a nun, monk, or blind or pregnant woman on his way to propose. That would mean bad luck. It is also bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her gown before the ceremony. The groom should carry his new wife across the threshold of their new home together to protect her from evil spirits.

Other Traditions

A sugar cube tucked in the bride’s glove or a penny tucked into her shoe are both thought to bring years of good fortune.

A newlywed couple should plant an evergreen tree directly outside their house as a symbol of fertility and luck.

The pearl engagement ring is thought to be bad luck because it resembles a tear.

The reason married people wear their rings on the fourth finger of their left hand is because it was believed that the vein in that finger led directly to the heart.

A sapphire in a wedding ring is good luck as is Aquamarine.

Brides in England did not always wear white. Queen Victoria started the white wedding dress trend in 1840. Before that, a bride would simply wear the best dress she owned.

Snakes with ruby eyes were popular wedding rings long ago because the coil of the snake around the finger suggested fertility.

Brides are supposed to carry something old on their wedding day to stay connected to their past.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

A wedding veil is worn by a bride to ward off evil spirits. Bridesmaids used to all dress like the bride to confuse the evil spirits about which one was the bride.

In many cultures, the bride and groom’s hands are tied together with an eternity knot to suggest their togetherness. This is where the term “tying the knot” came from.

The bride was made to stand to the left of the groom in olden days so the groom had his right hand free to fight off would-be scorned suitors.

The Roman goddess Juno was thought to preside over childbirth and health, so that is how June weddings became the most popular month for weddings.

For more traditions and etiquette:

• Japanese Wedding Traditions
• Jewish Wedding Traditions
• Wedding Traditions