The first step is to decide if you want a religious ceremony or secular.  If you choose a religious officiant, like a pastor or priest, they may require that you and your future spouse receive pre-marital education or counseling.  The religious or secular nature of a wedding is an important consideration, too, because it often affects the ceremony itself as faiths celebrate marriage in different ways.  In many religious ceremonies, there is a great deal of tradition and ritual, which may be just what you want. Or it may not be.  Your choice of officiant may be affected, at least in part, by the type of wedding you want.

Before you speak with possible officiants, think about what, exactly, you want them to do.  Yes, they will pronounce you husband and wife, but do you have other expectations?  Do you want him/her to plan or write the ceremony?  Help at the rehearsal?  Help ensure the ceremony runs smoothly?  Book another officiant for you if he has an emergency or is sick on your wedding day?  These details may seem small now, but they won't when you are walking down the aisle.

You should like your officiant.  If it is not possible to engage the services of someone you know, then meet with possible candidates and see how you respond to them.  Are they warm and personable?  Do they have a nice voice that will carry?  Do they speak well and fluently?  Do they seem happy about performing your ceremony?  More and more weddings today can be termed “nontraditional.” Will your officiant be open and accepting of blended families, of couples in which one or both partners has been divorced, of interracial, interfaith, or same sex couples?  Will he be willing to perform the ceremony in your chosen locale?  All of these questions, and more, are important to discuss prior to any agreement.

In the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, don't forget to dot your i's and cross your t's.  Make sure to book your officiant as soon as possible to ensure he/she will be available.  And do make sure he/she is legally authorized to marry you!  The requirements vary by state.  Check your state here to make sure that everything is in order.

Another consideration is the officiant's fee.  This, of course, will depend on the individual, the area, and the specifics of the ceremony, as well as how much responsibility the officiant has.  The fee can be as little as $50 or as much as $1,500.  According to the Bridal Association of America, the average fee for a justice of the peace is $50 to $100.  A retired judge or intern minister typically costs between $100 and $200, while a church official or professional officiant costs between $200 and $400.  If this seems high, remember that this is often the lowest fee among all the vendors you will engage, and it is the most important as well.

An option more and more couples are choosing is to have a friend or family member ordained.  This way, a loved one can perform the ceremony.  The Universal Life Church, for instance, ordains clergy for this purpose.  They have ordained more than 20 million people online.  The laws in your state may allow this or have conditions, so if you are interested, check the ULC site for more information.

Choosing an officiant for your wedding takes some consideration and time; don't settle for less than your ideal. It will make all the difference on your wedding day when you like both people who are waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

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As you might expect, military weddings carry with them a great amount of tradition, ritual, rules, and regulations.  But in many respects, planning a military ceremony is just like planning a “regular” one: you need to start early.  Just as desired venues get scooped up fast, especially during peak seasons, military chapels and halls are also booked well in advance.  It is advisable to book your chapel and reception venue a year in advance by applying to the chaplain’s office.  Check to make sure you are eligible for a military wedding as some rules apply.

If the service is performed at a military chapel or on academy grounds, the chaplain charges no fee, but do plan on making a donation to the chapel.  Some chapels allow another clergy person to co-officiate, so do ask if you would like to pursue that option – and you will have to pay that officiant’s fee.  Your chaplain may require pre-wedding counseling as well.

Speak with your chaplain about proper seating as there are some guidelines to consider.  Also ask about flowers and chapel decorations because rules vary.  The Chapel Altar Guild does arrange the flowers, candelabra, and other décor, and this is the same for every wedding.  You may have to provide your own reception decoration or even plan it yourself.  Part of the appeal of military weddings is the sense of tradition, and this extends to every detail, down to the decorations. And don't forget to look into matching wedding accessories as well.

Military weddings are gorgeous, and a large part of that are the uniforms.  Officers or enlisted personnel in the bridal party wear their uniforms (which may differ depending on the seasonal regulations or formality of the wedding).  A black-tie affair, for instance, would require dinner or mess dress uniforms, while a white-tie and tails event would require evening dress uniforms.  Non-commissioned officers wear dress blues or Army greens, and none of the uniformed service people wear a boutonniere.  Guests who serve in the military can choose to wear their uniforms or civilian clothing.

What if the bride is an officer?  Does she have to wear her uniform?  She may, but she may also wear a bridal gown, if she chooses.  Even the military knows not to mess with the dress.

There are also rules for the receiving line and reception.  For example, if the groom is uniformed, he must be before the bride in the receiving line.  Again, your chaplain is a great resource and can help you follow the regs – and have a great wedding!

The arch of the sabers (or swords, for the Navy) is optional, but it is often a highlight of the ceremony. Surprise; there are rules for this too!  In the Army, for instance, the couple exits the church under the arch.  In the Navy and Marines, the ushers usually form the saber detail, while in the Air Force, they cannot.  Regardless of the branch of the military, it is a stunning tradition.

From seating and decorations to dress and cutting the cake, there are rituals and traditions in every detail of the ceremony and reception. The rules and regulations may seem overwhelming at first, but chaplains (and handy websites!) are there to guide you through your military wedding preparations.

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If you’ve ever been to a Jewish wedding, you’ve no doubt seen a cheerful dance called the Hora. This is a lively circle dance that is traditional at Jewish weddings and often at bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs.

The Hora came to America in the early 20^th century with Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe. The tradition was kept alive and the dance is still being danced today at Jewish ceremonies. The word Hora comes from the Greek word khoros which is found in English words such as chorus and choreograph.

The dance is usually performed to the Hebrew folk tune of Hava Nagila. The title translates literally into “Let us rejoice,” and is very appropriate for festive occasions.

The dance is simple yet poetic and very entertaining to watch. At a wedding reception, the bride and groom would grasp an end of the same handkerchief. Then, they are seated on chairs. The men lift the chairs over their shoulders and carry the bride and groom around. The rest of the party forms a closed circle. They dance steps that resemble the winding of a grapevine.

To do the dance, enter the circle and grasp hands with the people on either side of you. Take a step to the side and bring your left foot behind your right foot. As the circle moves to the music, move your right foot next to your left foot. Alternate for the next set of steps—left in front of right.

As the music plays, the circle will pick up momentum. You’ll need to add a hop to your steps to keep up. The continuous circle will move as one into the center of the circle and raise their linked hands into the air. Then, everyone moves back to their original place and the circle continues moving.

There are, of course, shouts of joy and much animation during this celebratory dance. To really enjoy it, you must be a part of it. The spinning can get pretty wild, so often you’ll see women taking their high heels off and dancing barefoot. Don’t be surprised if the group breaks into hysterical laughter when they can’t keep up with the music. That’s all part of the fun.

Mezinke Tanz or The Krenzl

Another dance you may see at a Jewish wedding is the Mezinke Tanz, or The Krenzl. Krenzl, meaning crown, is a dance that is danced only when a mother’s last daughter is married. In this touching dance, the bride’s mother sits in the center of a circle and her daughters crown her with flowers and guests dance around them. In the Mezinke Tanz version, both of the bride’s parents sit in the center of the circle as their daughters present crowns of flowers. The guests dance around them along with the daughters.

These days modern Jewish couples may opt to include the traditional dances or not. It is up to them. But often, the dances are included not only to please parents but also to avoid disappointing guests who will be looking forward to the traditions being included. There is no hard and fast rule as to which dances a couple should include. Often, today’s couples will hire a band that knows all the traditional wedding dance numbers, but also plays a full array of oldies and current music as well.

If you enjoyed this article, you will probably like this post on Jewish Wedding Traditions.

Plan enough time to get ready the day of your wedding. If it’s in the morning, allow several hours so you can have a cup of coffee in peace before everyone arrives to do your hair and makeup. And eat something. Many a bride has forgotten to eat on her wedding day and either passed out or gotten loopy with the first glass of champagne.

Designate before the big day who will be running last minute errands. Arrange for people who are reliable yet not urgently needed elsewhere that morning for pictures or to help dress you.

Errands that will need to be done the morning of the wedding are: picking up the flowers, ensuring the cake has arrived at the location (a phone call will do), ensuring there is cash or a check to pay the bartender, wedding venue or restaurant and musicians. You’ll also need payments and tips for the limo drivers and hairdresser and makeup artist. The last thing you want to be doing is handing out cash on your special day. Delegate this task to a person you can trust. Have envelopes clearly marked “Caterer” and “Limo Driver” so that nothing gets mixed up.

On track with being organized, it doesn't hurt to have a little floor plan mapped out so your assistants know where to put not only guest place cards, but the guest book, gift table, wedding favors, etc. Not to mention, a picture of how you want the tables to look as well. This will all help in the long run.

Designate a trustworthy friend the keeper of all wedding day gifts. People bring gifts to the wedding and they need to be put somewhere and monitored for theft. And often, people bring envelopes of cash as their gift. You don’t want those precious envelopes sitting out in public where restaurant patrons and other strangers can help themselves. Your trusty friend is now in charge of keeping watch. You’re excused from having to worry about it. That same person should bring the gifts home after the event to hold for you or drop them at your parents’ house or your own apartment.

Someone will need to be in charge of taking your wedding gown home if you are departing for your honeymoon right from the wedding. Even if you are staying over at a hotel for the night and leaving the next day, you want your wedding dress in safe hands and out of the way. Plan for an aunt or sibling to take it. You can change into a pretty but simple “going away” outfit before you leave the reception.

Wear comfortable shoes. It doesn’t matter if you paid $400 for a pair of beaded satin heels if your feet ache the whole day. Go for comfort. Some brides like to have a decorative pair of fun flip flops or ballet shoes to dance in. And some even wear white sneakers. You don’t have to go that drastic, but arrange well before your wedding day to break in your wedding shoes.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Yes, it is your wedding day. Yes, you planned and prepared and spent a lot of time and money. But it’s not the end of the world if you flub a word in your vows or the ring bearer drops the rings. There will be tiny mishaps—everything from a run in your stocking to the bathroom being out of toilet paper at the restaurant. Everyone will come running to you with their problems…UNLESS you set up a No Comment Zone. Tell your wedding planner, mom, dad, and anyone else who’ll back you up that you are not going to be fielding complaints or solving problems that arise. Once you step into your dress, you are a bride. You are not required to run interference for two relatives who are bickering or monitor how many drinks Uncle Vince has had. Just smile and enjoy the day whatever comes your way.

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It’s really up to you. There are no rules. You have to consider several things, however. First, if your wedding is very formal, are you going to want children running around? It also depends on whose children you are talking about inviting. Are you going to invite your sister’s young children because they are your nieces and nephews? Are you feeling pressured to invite your bridesmaid’s children because she’s in the wedding party?

These are issues that will come up. And again, it’s up to you. While it might feel horrible to you to exclude a two year old nephew—and so you invite him—there’s no reason you have to have every two year old child that’s in any way connected to the wedding.

Any children from past marriages should be given the opportunity to choose to come or not. If they don’t want to come, that’s their choice, but definitely extend the invitation. The last thing you want is to start out your new married life with bruised feelings.

When it comes to your bridesmaids or best friends, you may want to have a private talk with them way before the issue even comes up. Tell them that you are planning a more formal evening and children would be out of place. She may be offended, so be prepared. Talk about how much you want her in the wedding and that you’d like her to be free to just enjoy herself too.

If you decide to have children at your wedding, you do have some options to control disruptions. You can hire a nanny for the day. Provide a children’s area complete with crayons and small games to occupy the children. Depending on their ages, some of them can even help entertain the younger ones. The nanny can be a high school girl or a local teen that you know from church. Ask around. Someone may just love the idea of making a few bucks for watching the children during a wedding.

You can have a separate meal for the children that is more to their liking without having to alter the adult menu. Serve mac and cheese and chicken fingers and they’ll all be happy. Have a tent for the kids, and offer wedding favors or kids gifts so they can have their own little play area. Or rent a bounce house that they can play with outside while the guests are dancing and dining.

Many children are perfectly well behaved and can join the regular festivities. If you have a mom who is in the bridal party, she can ask her husband to supervise the child while she’s off taking photos. You may even want to offer her the option to sit with her child instead of at the head table so the child can spend time with mom (and act up less).

Either way you choose to go, children at your wedding are your choice. Don’t let anyone sway you one way or the other. Do what feels right to you and your fiancé.

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Perhaps love for you means hearts. Maybe it means flowers. Or you might be more literal and would like the world “love” on your favors and in your décor. Any way you choose to portray it, love is a romantic theme to surround yourselves in on the big day.

• Start your Love theme rolling with your Save the Date cards and invitations. Choose very ornate scrollwork that spells out LOVE or choose a simple heart to represent love.
• Set the tone with love songs. Have the DJ or band play all love songs that your guests will immediately recognize. Include sappy songs from yesteryear as well as your favorite modern songs.
• Choose colors like red and white or red and silver. They’ll immediately register as colors of love (think Valentine’s Day). Carry the red throughout the day with hearts, red and white roses, red heart shaped candies, etc.
• Your gown can have little heart accents embroidered into it. Or you can wear a red velvet sash or a glittering garnet heart. Add a little splash of red and you’ve instantly drawn in everyone’s attention.
• Give out love theme wedding favors. Heart-shaped soaps or candles are charming. But you can also choose from an array of favors that actually spell out LOVE. Coasters, key rings, bookmarks, mint tins, letter openers, cookies, cupcakes, luggage tags, coffee scoops, wine glasses, and more can all be ordered with the letters L-O-V-E imprinted on them.
• Have satin ribbon imprinted with the word love. Use it to tie your bouquets, favors, around your cake and in other places. It will be a nice touch that everyone will remember.
• Your cake will, of course, be a tower of love. You can go ultra suave or super funky with the cake. You might want to subtly have the word love iced all over the cake or you might want a completely red cake with hearts all over it. Make a statement about your love with this focal point of the reception.
• Order soap favors or chocolates in the individual letters L-O-V-E. Scatter them throughout the reception, in the restrooms, and on the sign-in table, and let people find them. When you scatter them, guests will try to figure out what the individual letters spell.

• Have a “Love Tree” instead of a guest book. Have a potted topiary in the shape of a heart or the word love at the sign-in table. Instead of just signing their names have guests write a word or two about love on a slip of paper and attach it to the tree. You can use heart charms or heart-shaped tacks to hang the cards. It will be a nice way to relive the day when you return from your honeymoon.

• Show your love for your parents, family and friends with a tribute to them. Have a little speech ready for you or your fiancé to give before your first dance at the reception. This will truly bring your whole love theme together and ensure that there’s not a dry eye in the place.

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First, you risk hurting someone’s feelings. If your mom or dad had their heart set on throwing you a big wedding, count the cost of running off without them. If you just want to rush it because the thought of all that planning makes you crazy, hire someone to help out. A good wedding planner will take a lot of the work off your plate. If it’s a matter of cost, you could plan a more casual, smaller wedding and still include those you love.

But perhaps your reasons for eloping are that you are so in love and want to be married right away. Perhaps you just aren’t the big wedding type and a smaller ceremony is the only thing that will work for you and your partner. You’ll want to know how and where to elope to make it memorable.

First, check with local laws about marriage licenses. If you’re going for the city hall civil ceremony, just call your local town hall or city marriage bureau (find them online or in the phone book), and ask them what the process entails. Do you need blood tests? Is there a waiting period after you apply for the license? Every state is different, so don’t risk being disappointed because you didn’t take time to get the facts.

Who do you want to officiate? Do you want the justice of the peace? Find out if he or she is available. A justice of the peace may be an employee if the city hall or of a courthouse nearby. You can have a civil ceremony any place they will be willing to meet you. Consider a park or local spot of beauty or inspiration. It can be outside or inside. It’s still legal as long as you have applied for and gotten your marriage license and the person is legally authorized to marry people in your state (be sure to ask if they are, don’t assume!)

If you want to hop a plane and tie the knot, have a Las Vegas wedding. It is the wedding capital of the world and for good reason. There is no waiting time between applying for a marriage license and having the ceremony in Vegas. The city hall stays open 24 hours for just this purpose. Hundreds of tiny wedding chapels line the streets. You can pop in for a quick wedding and even drive through to get married without getting out of your car! Marry at the little chapel Elvis and Priscilla did, or choose from any of the modern, attractive and all-inclusive chapels. You can go as fancy as you like. Many chapels will rent you a dress and shoes and flowers. The groom can get his tux too on rental. You can run in and be married in a few minutes.

But keep in mind that the highest volume of weddings in Las Vegas are on Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, so plan your trip accordingly.

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Making your own wedding card box will save you money and you can personalize it your wedding theme. Be sure to ask someone who is close to you but not in the wedding party to keep an eye on it and bring it home after the reception. You can decorate your box yourself or purchase one. There are many retailers online who sell nice ones, but if you choose to make your own, here are some tips.

Birdcage

Go for a decorated bird cage for a sweet look, this is especially cute if you're having a love bird wedding. Bring a little bit of nature indoors. You can purchase a wire birdcage at a pet store if they have nice ones. We’re not talking the kind a pet canary would live in. Avoid the square, plastic bottom ones. You want ornate. So go for a domed top cage that looks delicate and sweet. If your pet store doesn’t carry any you like, and they may not, try a craft store next. The trend of birdcages as card holders is catching on, so they are likely to have just what you want. But you can also find them at antique stores or flea markets. If it’s not white when you find it, you can always spray paint it white or off white to match your theme. Next, add silk flowers. Wind silk ivy around the cage and add in some raffia or a bird’s nest in the bottom. It’s a really cute look and you can set it out on your place card table so all will see it.

A Tiered Cake

Another cute idea is to decorate three boxes to form a tiered wedding cake.

You can use round or square boxes. Find three boxes in varying sizes from large to small. Look for silk covered boxes or paper-mâché boxes that you can paint and decorate yourself.

Tie a wide ribbon around the stack and place a slit in the top box big enough to hold cards.

You’d pay around $80 for a similar store bought wedding cake box like this, so save some change and make it yourself.

A Treasure Chest

Find a domed lid box and decorate it like a treasure chest with faux jewels that you find at a craft store. Often, mass retailers or off-price stores will carry boxes in their wedding stationery section that are just perfect for this.

They are often covered in silk already, so all you do is add the bling. You can either cut a slit for the cards or if you’d rather not, you can allow guests to open the lid and place their card inside.

Your wedding card box doesn’t have to be limited to just a box. You can make it any shape you like as long as there’s a way for guests to slip their card in, so think outside the box when planning your box.

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There are so many ways to add your own personality to a wedding reception. It’s the one time you can have total say over what is included and what is left out. There will be many well-wishers who offer advice that you may or may not want to take. Above all, don’t feel pressured to have anything at your reception that you don’t love. If mom wants you to go with gold and silver, but you hate the combination, consider talking with her and telling her how you feel. She will most likely want you to be happy, and you can select an alternate color scheme.

Set your mind on the colors that make you the happiest. Do you love muted tones of red and brown? The vintage look can really be chic in these colors. Have a down home country reception complete with a wagon and a hay bale in it, candles in rustic colors, tables draped in hues of burnt reds, and even rent out a barn if you can. You can have an elegant barn wedding reception, if the climate allows, that is everything you hoped it would be and more. Hang gauzy curtains at the barn door entrance. Have dancing on the open floor. Just be sure that it’s a non-working barn so it’s clean and available without any animals (and their odors) in it. Many barns are now heated and have lovely wooden flooring that’s perfect for dancing.

Just about any theme will work as long as you carry it throughout the day. If you are sports fans, you and your new husband can incorporate just about any sport into the day. Have football candies as favors. Decorate a whimsical cake with soccer ball icing. Include memorabilia from the sport, trophies, or pennants to suggest the good old days of the sport. You can really have fun with it. Offer baseball cards as favors or have vintage bats and balls on display. Chances are you’ve got a collection somewhere if you’re sports nuts. Why not bring them out?

Wedding reception decor is totally dependent on the bride and groom’s tastes. Have a chocolate fountain if you love chocolate and go with a Willy Wonka theme. Or have a truly upscale champagne and strawberries theme. Whatever you decide to have, look at every detail from the invitations to the wedding favors, and everything in between. Put your little touches into each area of the reception decor and you will find that everyone loves what you’ve done. Don’t forget to make your mark with special food choices as well. You can have the caterer do edible chocolate spoons for guests to eat their cold strawberry soup with.

The magic is in the details. Plan on cutting out lots of ideas from magazines and gather up a file so that when the final decisions need to be made, you’ll have lots of ideas.

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• Jewelry is always appreciated. You don’t have to break the bank to give each of your girls a lovely piece. Decide on what you want to give be it bracelet, ring, necklace or earrings. Then, get everyone the same thing, or a slight variation, and buy them all at the same time. You can purchase lots of lovely crystal or beaded bracelets that will fit everyone. And when you have them all shipped together, you’ll save not only on shipping but on your time running around searching for the perfect gift. Overstock.com and Ebay both offer unique jewelry pieces that are affordable and fun.
• Pampering products. Give a spa in a bag. Get nice toiletry cases and fill them with all sorts of soothing products. If the girls are staying at a hotel, they’ll be thrilled to have the extra products. Alternately, you could consider giving fluffy monogram robes.
• Gift certificates to a spa are also nice as well. They can go at a time that’s convenient for them and remember you when they’re getting pampered.
• Gift certificates to restaurants, stores, and movies are all great ideas. You can even give them gift certificates for online stores so they can shop from home.
• Monogrammed candles are lovely. They come in all types of containers and colors. You can pick a monogram for each of the girls to make the gift truly personal.
• Purses, cosmetic cases and personalized totes all make great gifts. Either have them personalized or give a tote that fits with each girl’s personality. Fill it with travel sizes of all kinds of products.
• A monogrammed self-inking stamper is a unique gift. You can order them online with each girls name and address for a lovely surprise.
• Edible gifts are all the rage right now. You can get everything from giant caramel apples covered in chocolate and candies to lollipops in the shape of bridal gowns. There’s no end to the creative and tasty treats you can find. Select something that you can’t find just anywhere like high end gourmet chocolates or online-only creations.
• Tickets to a concert or other local venue are appreciated. Try to get tickets that are good for a wide array of dates so that each girl can choose the day she’d like to go. Theatre tickets are often good for the whole run of the show (several weeks). Or offer to take them all together when you return from your honeymoon.
• Your bridesmaids will be on their feet all evening. Why not give them personalized flip flops with their names or ballet slippers in a nice pouch. They can slip into more comfy shoes when it comes time to dance. Everyone will be thanking you.

It’s up to you just how much you want to spend. If your budget is tight, you can always make something (like a batch of your best chocolate chip cookies) and wrap it in fancy packaging. Remember, it’s a token of your thanks and is not intended to be a stressful expense for you and your groom. Think simple but elegant.

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