Wedding Advice – Here Comes the Blog

Posts Tagged ‘wedding invitation etiquette’

When it comes time to send out your wedding invitations, you’re bound to have some questions. Because today’s society isn’t as formal as it once was, it’s hard to know just how to send out formal invitations. The last thing you want to do is offend someone. Here are some etiquette questions and answers that may be helpful to you.

First, you should know that formal invitations are comprised of one outer envelope which you write the full names and address of the people invited and an inner envelope which you do not seal, but will write the names only of the people invited.

How should you address an envelope to a single person and let them know it’s ok to bring a guest?

On the outside envelope, use just the invited guest’s name (Mr. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write Mr. John Brown and Guest.

How do you address an envelope to a family when kids are invited?

You address the outer envelope to the couple (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write the full names of the parents and the children’s first names (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown, Maggie, Elise, Tom). This will let the parents know their children are invited as well.

If a couple is living together but not married, how do you invite them both?

You would write both their names on the outer and inner envelopes. For instance, it would be correct to write “Mr. Todd Smith and Miss Katie Jones.”

If a doctor and his wife are on the guest list, how do you address the inner envelope?

Use the full name and address on the outer envelope (Dr. and Mrs. Clay Hartwell) and on the inner envelope write the title and last name (Dr. and Mrs. Hartwell).

If your guest is in the military, how do you address an invitation to him and his wife?

It’s correct to address the outer envelope with the military branch and rank. For instance, Captain and Mrs. George Wendell, U.S.Army, is correct on the outer envelope. Inside you would write Captain and Mrs. Wendell.

If a woman is divorced, how do you address her invitation?

Be certain whether she has kept her married name or gone back to her maiden name. Either way you would write Ms. Mary Black. The Ms. fits in either situation. The inside would read Ms. Black.

How do you address an envelope to a married couple with different last names?

It is correct to write both names out fully. For instance, the outer envelope would read Mr. Bob Holden. On the next line under it, write Mrs. Monica White. On the inside, you’d write Mr. Holden and Mrs. White.

How do you include wording about dress code?

If you’re going to have a formal wedding, you can write “Black Tie Optional” or “Black Tie Suggested.” This will let the men know to wear a tuxedo or dark dress suit and the women will know it’s more dressy as well. Leave out any words that say how a guest must dress. It may seem too pushy. But definitely include how you’d like everyone to be dressed. It’s ok to say “Casual Attire Invited” if you are having a beach wedding or “Smart Casual” if it’s not ok to wear shorts.

Is it ok to print labels on your computer for the addresses?

Good etiquette suggests that it’s better to hand write your addresses on the envelopes. Plan for it to take a bit more time than you imagine. That’s the beauty of a formal invitation. It is not a quick copy or print from a machine. It’s your hand-written welcome. So invest a little extra time. Buy a good set of black felt tip pens and sit down and hand write your addresses. It’s rude to slap on computer generated labels. It sends a message that you didn’t care enough to hand address.

More on Wedding Invitations:

• Ordering Wedding Invitations
• Cheap Wedding Tips - Invitations
• Should You Send Save the Date Cards?
• Do It Yourself Wedding Programs for the Ceremony
• What to Do When You Have Missing or Late RSVP's

Enormous “to do” lists make for super busy brides-to-be. What with the venues to book, looks to refine, details to settle, décor to decide, transport to arrange, food to taste, a wedding site to update—not to mention work, family, time alone with your fiancé and ordering your wedding stationery. Ah, your wedding invitations … the centerpiece of the stationery. With such big communication shoes to fill, ordering your invites is not an undertaking you want to rush. Have you seen their responsibilities lately:  who is saying “I do” how to dress, where to go, when to show up … and that’s just basic info. You can do a lot to ensure that you’re happy with the results- from start to finish. Take these 5 tips into consideration:

1.       Give yourself plenty of time to order. A good rule of thumb is to start researching for invites is at least 6 months prior to your wedding date. This will give you enough time to finalize your colors, theme and which ensemble items you need: RSVP and enclosure cards, menu cards, programs, table number and place cards. Once set, place your order at least 4 months prior to your wedding date as invites are sent 6-8 weeks ahead of time. Always order at least 25 extra for surprise invites and keepsakes. It’s usually more economical to order everything at once rather than having to add on later.

2.       It’s all about personalization. Share your flair- remembering that colors matter and wording counts. You want to be able to put your interpretation into the design that speaks to the look and feel you’re going for. Reflect your wedding style- whether it’s timeless and traditional, contemporary and cool, beachy coast, or all out offbeat and quirky. This is your day! Certain colors evoke certain moods and the right font can change a design from formal to casual or from modern to vintage. Take time and have fun choosing the right elements to set the tone for your wedding of the century!

3.      Power in proofing. Check and recheck the spellings, the date and times, the names, guest titles, directions, EVERYTHING before your invitations are printed. It’s so easy to omit something important or overlook a typo if you’re rushing. Ask for proofing help from your detailed-oriented family and friends!

4.      Addressing envelopes- get your etiquette on. Envelope addressing is an art form in itself as well as a tool of communication. Traditional etiquette suggests that you do not use abbreviations for titles, street names, states- exceptions being: Mr. Mrs. Ms. Jr. Sr. II, III. The number one, apartment numbers can be written in numerals. Also, every invitation has to be specifically addressed because your guests come in different statuses: single, with children, living together, titled professionals, etc. And, whether you use a single or double set of envelopes, here are wording and etiquette tips for wedding invitation addressing.

5.      Best possible presentation on arrival. Avoid the dreaded "return to sender for incomplete postage" stamped across the perfect calligraphy of your envelopes. Know your postage costs.  Take a complete invitation set to the post office and have it weighed! Ask if the postal worker will hand-cancel your invitations too.

Featured wedding invitation: Flat Flower Flourish with Half Moon Holder, Envelope and Vellum Overlay

Which is your favorite tip?

When it comes time to send out your wedding invitations, you’re bound to have some questions. Because today’s society isn’t as formal as it once was, it’s hard to know just how to send out formal invitations. The last thing you want to do is offend someone. Here are some etiquette questions and answers that may be helpful to you.

First, you should know that formal invitations are comprised of one outer envelope which you write the full names and address of the people invited and an inner envelope which you do not seal, but will write the names only of the people invited.

How should you address an envelope to a single person and let them know it’s ok to bring a guest?

On the outside envelope, use just the invited guest’s name (Mr. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write Mr. John Brown and Guest.

How do you address an envelope to a family when kids are invited?

You address the outer envelope to the couple (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown). On the front of the inside envelope, write the full names of the parents and the children’s first names (Mr. and Mrs. John Brown, Maggie, Elise, Tom). This will let the parents know their children are invited as well.

If a couple is living together but not married, how do you invite them both?

You would write both their names on the outer and inner envelopes. For instance, it would be correct to write “Mr. Todd Smith and Miss Katie Jones.”

If a doctor and his wife are on the guest list, how do you address the inner envelope?

Use the full name and address on the outer envelope (Dr. and Mrs. Clay Hartwell) and on the inner envelope write the title and last name (Dr. and Mrs. Hartwell).

If your guest is in the military, how do you address a wedding invitation to him and his wife?

It’s correct to address the outer envelope with the military branch and rank. For instance, Captain and Mrs. George Wendell, U.S.Army, is correct on the outer envelope. Inside you would write Captain and Mrs. Wendell.

If a woman is divorced, how do you address her invitation?

Be certain whether she has kept her married name or gone back to her maiden name. Either way you would write Ms. Mary Black. The Ms. fits in either situation. The inside would read Ms. Black.

How do you address an envelope to a married couple with different last names?

It is correct to write both names out fully. For instance, the outer envelope would read Mr. Bob Holden. On the next line under it, write Mrs. Monica White. On the inside, you’d write Mr. Holden and Mrs. White.

How do you include wording about dress code?

If you’re going to have a formal wedding, you can write “Black Tie Optional” or “Black Tie Suggested.” This will let the men know to wear a tuxedo or dark dress suit and the women will know it’s more dressy as well. Leave out any words that say how a guest must dress. It may seem too pushy. But definitely include how you’d like everyone to be dressed. It’s ok to say “Casual Attire Invited” if you are having a beach wedding or “Smart Casual” if it’s not ok to wear shorts.

Is it ok to print labels on your computer for the addresses?

Good etiquette suggests that it’s better to hand write your addresses on the envelopes. Plan for it to take a bit more time than you imagine. That’s the beauty of a formal invitation. It is not a quick copy or print from a machine. It’s your hand-written welcome. So invest a little extra time. Buy a good set of black felt tip pens and sit down and hand write your addresses. It’s rude to slap on computer generated labels. It sends a message that you didn’t care enough to hand address.

For more invitation advice, try some of the following articles:

Should You Send Save the Date Cards?

Do It Yourself Wedding Programs for the Ceremony

What to Do When You Have Missing or Late RSVPs

When life rocks, we roll. 

Craft your invitation with care. Wording can get a little sticky when trying to convey who is hosting~ when the hosts are divorced. Aside from communicating style and formality, the invite has the huge responsibility of communicating: who{the hosts}, what {wedding of b&g}, when, where, and time. Big responsibility!

Weddings are all about personalization. Below are four examples of invitation wording for four possible scenarios for divorced hosts. Choose wording that best reflects the formality of your wedding and pays the proper respect to the hosts.

When the Bride’s Mother is divorced and hosting:
Mrs. Barbara Johnson
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter

Both sets of divorced Parents AND Bride and Groom are hosting:
Together with their families
Ally Johnson
and
Paul Bernard

Divorced Parents of Bride are hosting:
Mrs. Barbara Johnson
and
Mr. James Johnson

Divorced Parent and Stepparent of Bride are hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. James Korman
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage
of Mrs. Korman’s daughter

 

Happy Planning!

Photo Below - Flat Rectangle Invitation INVC-11750: MagnetStreet Weddings

Know the rules~ then modify them!

From a foodie perspective~ if you’re making a grilled cheese sandwich, the basic ingredients should include cheese and bread. And from there, you add the personal touches that take your grilled cheese sandwich to a whole new level. For me, that means adding cilantro, onions and ranch dressing!

It’s the same idea with wording your wedding invitations. Once you know the basic guidelines, then you have the freedom to personalize according to your wedding style and formality.

Your wedding invitation is responsible for a great deal and will set the tone for your entire event! Not only must it be stylish and all that… it also needs to communicate very important wedding day information: who, when and where. Whether your style is classic, modern, or non-traditional, a less formal wedding will allow for more creativity and less formality. While there are no longer hard and fast rules, use this basic etiquette as a guide.

Basic Etiquette:

• All verbiage is in the third person
• Be consistent with spelling: honour/favour or honor/favor
• Dr. and military titles need to be spelled out: i.e. Doctor Marie Johnson
• Use Roman numerals in names instead of second or 2nd
• Punctuation is used to separate city, state or day, date or Mr. Mrs.
• All days, dates and times are typically spelled out: Saturday, the twenty-third of July, Two thousand and seven at two o’clock
• Avoid abbreviations: spell out Street, Boulevard, Avenue...

Mr. and Mrs. William Iverson

Request the honor

of your presence

at the marriage of

their daughter

Holly Iverson

&

Ben Johnson

on Saturday, the twenty-third of July

at two o’clock

Grace Fellowship

Lake City, Minnesota

Gate-fold wedding invitation via: MagnetStreet Weddings

Happy Planning!